Nearly a year after she took a break from social media and checked into a mental health facility, Selena Gomez is opening up about what she calls the “scariest moment” of her life. The “Back to You” singer, 27, received the 2019 McLean Award at the McLean Hospital’s annual dinner earlier this month, where she gave a moving speech about her “truth” amid her open battles with mental health.
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“I think that we are better when we tell the truth. And so this is my truth,” Gomez began, the speech captured on video by a fan and shared to Instagram. “Last year, I was suffering mentally and emotionally, and I wasn’t able to stay all kept up and together. I wasn’t able to keep a smile or to keep things looking normal. And it felt like all of my pain and anxiety washed over me all at once, and it was one of the scariest moments of my life.”
Gomez, who sought treatment in October of 2018 after being hospitalized the month prior when she became “despondent and emotional,” went on to describe both the terror and the relief she felt after she sought help and doctors were able to give her a “clear diagnosis.”
“I sought support, and the doctors were able to give me a clear diagnosis. The moment I received that information I actually felt equal parts of terrified and relieved — terrified, obviously, because the veil was lifted, but relieved I finally had the knowledge of why I had suffered for so many years from depression and anxiety,” she said. “I’ve never had full answers, awareness or anything about this condition So I began to face it head on, as my mother taught me to face my fears and challenges when I was younger. I sought out help — I actually sought out to get the help that I needed.”
Gomez added that following her own struggle, she “got educated” and talked to those with similar experiences explaining that “it was something that kind of took over and I became very passionate about it.”
While the “Camouflage” singer admitted that her mental health is still a daily battle, “a year of a lot of intense work that I am happier, I am healthier, and I’m in control of my emotions and thoughts more than I’ve ever been.”
“I know that I have been given experiences and people and opportunities that have made my life exceptionally beautiful and sweet — and yet I struggle with my own thoughts and feelings at times,” she concluded. “But this doesn’t make me faulty. This does not make me weak. This does not make me less than. This makes me human. We need help, and we need each other.”