Kerry Washington Reveals She Suffered From Eating Disorder and Suicidal Ideation

Kerry Washington was in “crisis” before she realized she needed to seek help for an eating disorder.

The Scandal actress, 49, opened up about her history of mental health struggles and disordered eating during Wednesday’s episode of Call Her Daddy as she encouraged others in a similar place to ask for help.

“I recognized it because I knew that I was in a real mental health crisis,” Washington told Call Her Daddy host Alex Cooper. “Like, the thing that actually got me to get help with my eating disorder wasn’t the food itself, wasn’t the behavior with the food—it was the suicidal ideation.”

“I was like, ‘I’m using food and exercise as a tool to not be here. I’m trying to escape life and I need to figure out how to be in life,’” she continued. “Because I was terrified that I was being so mean to myself, right? That I was in so much pain that it was like inflicting more pain was the only way out of my pain.”

“It was the first thing that got me on my knees ever,” the actress went on, revealing that the first time she ever prayed was to “get out of this insanity” in which her whole life revolved around what she was eating and how many calories she was burning.

Washington’s eating disorder was “the worst” when she was in college, which is when she first asked for help and entered treatment. The Imperfect Women star would go on to utilize individual therapy, group therapy and the help of a nutritionist as she went on to find recovery.

Washington encouraged people who are facing similar concerns about their relationship with food and their mental health to also seek out help. “If you’re the one struggling, it’s trusting your gut,” she said. “If you know you need help, don’t let anybody tell you that it’s not a big deal. If you’re a parent, [trust] your gut and [get] help for your young ones.”

“If you’re struggling, don’t minimize it. It might be an eating disorder. It might be disordered eating,” she continued. “It might it could be a whole spectrum of things, but if you need help, ask for help. You don’t need to suffer alone. You don’t need to live in pain. You don’t need to engage in activity that takes you out of life.”

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline​. The previous Lifeline phone number (1-800-273-8255) will always remain available.