Kendra Wilkinson's Psychosis Hospitalization: What to Know

Kendra Wilkinson is opening up about her mental health struggles after being hospitalized in September due to a severe panic attack. Four months later, the Girls Next Door alum reveals she "went into psychosis" during the challenging time in her life, telling PEOPLE in a new interview she was "dying of depression" at the time.

"I was hitting the end of my life, and I went into psychosis. I felt like I wasn't strong enough to live anymore," she told the outlet, adding, "I was in a state of panic. I didn't know what was going on in my head and my body or why I was crying. I had hit rock bottom." Wilkinson was initially sent home after going to the emergency room for her symptoms but returned a week later to the hospital, where she was placed on antipsychotic medication.

In the following weeks, Wilkinson began going through outpatient treatment, where she began to learn how to cope with depression, which she attributes in part to her time living in the Playboy mansion. "It's not easy to look back at my 20s. I've had to face my demons," the former model shared. "Playboy really messed my whole life up."

Wilkinson's depression also stemmed in part from her 2019 divorce from husband Hank Baskett, with whom she shares two children, Hank IV, 14, and Alijah Mary, 9. "It was the lowest place I've ever been in my life. I felt like I had no future. I couldn't see in front of my depression," said Wilkinson, who attempted to get a fresh start in real estate with her show Kendra Sells Hollywood until it was not renewed for a third season. "I was giving up and I couldn't find the light. I had no hope."

She explained, "I would never go out of my way to kill myself, but I was just like, 'God, take me. God, take me.' To accept medication was the hardest thing to do. It meant I had to accept that I have some mental illness, and I didn't want to have to do that." Now, Wilkinson said she's learned to "work with" her depression and "accept it" as a part of her. "What therapy did was that it built this tool system for me. So now I have the strength – I have the strength and the foundation I need to overcome my depression," she shared, adding, "I'm so proud of myself for battling this and finding the solution and getting the treatment I needed. And it's one step at a time. I survived."