Jennifer Lopez Laments Not 'Loving Myself' While Reflecting on Marriage to Marc Anthony

Jennifer Lopez did not always love herself and is still on a journey to change that. In the first episode of the new YouTube series Coach Conversations, Lopez joined author and purpose coach Jay Shetty to reflect on her experience with therapy in the past. Lopez admitted that she did things that "didn't seem like" she was loving herself in past relationships, including her marriage to fellow singer Marc Anthony. Lopez and Anthony were married from 2004 to 2014, although they split in 2011.

Lopez, 51, started therapy in her late thirties, while she was still married to Anthony. There was "a lot of talk about loving yourself, and I was like, 'I love myself,'" Lopez recalled, notes Harper's Bazaar. "But obviously, I was doing all these things in, like, my personal relationships that didn’t seem like I was loving myself, but I didn’t even understand the concept of it. It took time and it’s a journey and it’s still a journey for me."

Anthony and Lopez are parents to 12-year-old twins Emme and Maximilian. Today, Lopez is engaged to former MLB star Alex Rodriguez. Last week, she performed "This Land is Your Land" and "America the Beautiful" during President Joe Biden's inauguration. She also recited the last phrase of the Pledge of Allegiance in Spanish. Lopez recently told PEOPLE she felt "blessed and honored" to take part in the ceremony.

In her chat with Shetty, Lopez noted how important it is to remind her children to think positively about themselves. "What you say and what you think, and I tell this to my kids all the time, becomes your reality," Lopez said. "If you’re telling yourself, 'I’m gonna be this or I’m gonna be that,' or you’re telling yourself, 'I’m a f—ing loser,' then you’ll be a f— loser. Whatever it is, you tell yourself that and it will manifest." Later, she noted, "I really believe that we create our lives. Again, not just with our actions and the things we do, but the things we think and the self-talk that we give."

Over the weekend, Lopez stunned her fans by recreating her famous music video for "Love Don't Cost a Thing" to mark the 20th anniversary of her second album, J.Lo. "Had a little fun at a recent shoot," she wrote on Instagram, adding the hashtag "Love Don't Cost a Thing Challenge" to inspire fans to do the same. She also shared pictures from the shoot, showing herself wearing a shirt with a J.Lo-era photo of herself. "As I reflect on the fact that it’s the #JLo20thAnniversary, I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for being with me, loving me, and supporting me through all the ups and downs," she wrote. "Thank you so much for all the love over the past 20 years!!"