Dax Shepard Tells Why He Opened up Publicly About His Relapse Despite Not Wanting to ‘At All’

Dax Shepard is sharing why he decided to share news of his relapse following 16 years of sobriety with the public. The Armchair Expert podcast host opened up about his experience coming clean in September with his listeners on The Ellen DeGeneres Show Tuesday, admitting he “did not want to at all,” but felt like he needed to be totally honest with his devoted fans.

Shepard admitted he had all kinds of “bizarre fears,” like his show’s sponsors possibly dropping out and putting him in a difficult spot financially, “But the No. 1 thing I was afraid to lose was, I get so much esteem out of being someone who’s vocally sober, and I have people who write me on month one or on week two, and I love that.” The Ranch actor shared that his rapport with people on their own sobriety journey is his “favorite thing about being in public,” and so he was “just terrified” to possibly lose that. “I really cherish that,” he added.

It wasn’t until the actor, who is married to The Good Place star Kristen Bell, spoke with a friend who put his relapse in another perspective that he began to shift his mindset. “I have a good friend that said, ‘You know, if your real goal is to help people, it’s not very helpful that you’re 16 years sober and married to Kristen Bell,’” he said, laughing. “That doesn’t help a ton of people. In fact, it probably makes their life worse. So the fact that you just fell, that’s the actual value. That’s the thing you could do that’s helpful.’ And so when it was framed that way to me, it got a lot easier.”

Shepard has gotten total support from wife Bell, with whom he shares daughters Lincoln, 7, and Delta, 6, whom he told DeGeneres were doing well in the quarantine, even if everyone is beginning to get a little stir crazy. “My kids are fantastic. They are so much fun. I know there’s been so much heartache and loss of unemployment, all this, for so many people, but for us, I’ve just gotten to see them so much, which I’ve been so grateful for. Which is not to say they’re not terrible, as well,” he said, joking that his daughters have stolen his toiletries to the point where he’s invested in a safe for them, then discovered they found the hidden key.