‘Harold & Kumar’ Star Kal Penn Comes out, Reveals 11-Year Relationship and Engagement

Actor and comedian Kal Penn came out as a member of the LGBTQ+ community in the press tour for his new memoir You Can’t Be Serious. The Harold & Kumar star did not apply a label like “gay” or “bisexual” to himself but did reveal that he has been in a romantic relationship with his partner Josh for 11 years now. He also shared the exciting news that he and Josh have gotten engaged and will be married soon.

Penn took the good news public this weekend in an interview on CBS Sunday Morning, but he also clarified that it has not necessarily been a secret this whole time. In a follow-up with PEOPLE later that day, he said: “I’ve always been very public with everybody I’ve personally interacted with. Whether it’s somebody that I meet at a bar, if Josh and I are out or we’re talking to friends.” He said that, for the most part, he has kept this part of his life to himself for the sake of Josh and his family, who dislikes the spotlight.

“I’m really excited to share our relationship with readers. But Josh, my partner, my parents, and my brother, four people who I’m closest to in the family, are fairly quiet,” he said. “They don’t love attention and shy away from the limelight.”

Penn’s new book is not just a coming-out story, of course – it goes through his childhood and his early aspirations in Hollywood, including his earliest conscious memories of racism in media and his first attempts to address it with his own work. It also includes stories from his time working in the White House for the Obama administration, and other never-before-told anecdotes from his life.

As for his love life, Penn said that he wanted to share it with fans, and hopes it will shed some light on the lifelong process of discovering one’s sexuality. He said the book “includes my love life with Josh and how we met, it includes my parents, to the extent that I’m willing to share stories about their upbringing. So that was the most important thing for me. I wanted my story to be authentic from my perspective and told in a way that makes you feel like you really get to know me.”

For those wondering if there was any drama with Penn’s self-discovery, he said there is nothing like that in the book. He said: “I know this sounds jokey, but it’s true: When you’ve already told your Indian parents and the South Asian community that you intend to be an actor for a living, really any conversations that come after that are super easy. They’re just like, ‘Yeah, okay.’ I felt very supported by everyone. That’s a wonderful thing. I know everybody has different experiences with that and so I definitely feel very fortunate.”

“I discovered my own sexuality relatively late in life compared to many other people,” he went on. “There’s no timeline on this stuff. People figure their s- out at different times in their lives, so I’m glad I did when I did.” Penn’s book You Can’t Be Serious will be available everywhere on Tuesday, Nov. 2. You can preorder it now in print, digital and audiobook formats.