What You Missed From Survivor Series

Survivor Series 2016 delivered a lot of big moments. From The Shield’s reunion to Shane McMahon putting Braun Strowman through the table to Goldberg’s decimation of Brock Lesnar, there were plenty of moments that are sure to have your office-mates buzzing around the water cooler today. However, if you really want to sound smart, you can’t just hit the same high notes as everyone else. That’s why I’m here to point out the biggest moments you might have missed from last night. The moments that you either didn’t notice or have already forgotten. The moments that may have otherwise fallen through the cracks. Keep reading, and you might have something more interesting to say than the rest of your loser co-workers.

$15,000

Chris Jericho has been delivering consistent laughs for the WWE lately with his “List of Jericho” schtick, and he went back to that well again as he was eliminated from the Men’s 5-on-5 match after frantically scrambling to collect the pages of his “life’s work.” But Y2J was able to sneak a slightly less noticeable nugget of his comedic genius into that match when he tagged in to square off with Dean Ambrose for the first time, and immediately began berating the Lunatic Fringe with cries of, “You still owe me $15,000.”

For those of you who don’t remember, or perhaps never saw in the first place, this was a call back to an episode of RAW that took place back in May. At that time, Dean stole Jericho’s beloved laser-light-show jacket (for lack of a better name) and ruthlessly destroyed it in front of Jericho’s eyes (video below). In case you don’t remember, the jacket cost $15,000. For those of us who love and remember that moment, this call-back from Jericho was a brilliant move. Not only did it remind the fans of one of his highlight moments from this year, but it also gave his character some continuity from a past story line. Too often, we see characters move from one program to the next without any acknowledgment of the other things they’ve been through. It was nice to see Jericho connecting the audience back to one of his previous story lines.

Seth Rollins Has Dry Hair

If you are reading this article, I think it’s safe to assume that you are a die-hard wrestling fan (either that, or you’re one of my countless groupies). As such, you have made your peace with the world of Professional Wrestling, and have stopped asking questions such as “Why do they wear such tiny trunks?” and “Can’t another referee just come in and finish the match?” However, watch a wrestling match with someone who is new to the genre and is not quite so familiar with its particular quirks, and you are virtually guaranteed to hear the following question: “Why is his hair so wet?” It’s a valid question. Why is their hair so wet? Why do these macho men always come to the squared circle looking like they’ve just taken a slip’n’slide down to the ring? Well, to find the answer to this question we need look no further than the tangled tumbleweed perched atop the head of Seth Rollins as he neared the end of the Men’s 5-on-5 elimination match last night. This is why the wrestlers keep their hair wet. Because it when it dries, it looks like this.

Shane O Mac Has A Small Package

Shane-O-Mac was the fifth member of Team SmackDown Live last night for reasons that continue to elude me. During this match, he commited the Cardinal Sin of wrestling. Now, I should probably pause right here to confess that I am no fan of Shane McMahon. His return to the WWE in recent months has been well-received by most fans, so I recognize that I am in the minority when I say this, but I couldn’t care less if I never see him in the ring again (and after the way that spear bounced his head off the mat, I may not). I just don’t believe that he, or anyone who isn’t adequately trained as a professional wrestler has any business being in that ring.

To be fair, Shane-O-Mac did deliver one of the most memorable moments from the entire show, when he leaped from the turn-buckle and drove Brawn Strowman through the announcer’s table. However, he also delivered one of the most unforgivable moments of the night, when he made one of his in-ring calls loud enough for the ring mics to pick it up. To see what I’m talking about open up your WWE Network (you know you’ve got it), pull up the Survivor Series, and jump to the 2:38 mark of last night’s broadcast. You will find Shane tussling in the ring with Chris Jericho, and after Shane counters a Lionsault by raising his knees, he can clearly be heard saying the words “small package” just before rolling Jericho up in a, you guessed it, small package.

This is the number one most unforgivable sin in professional wrestling. Even though we all know in our heads that wrestling is fake, our hearts have to be allowed to, on some level, pretend that it’s real. Hearing the athletes make their ring calls shatters that part of my heart. It’s just too obvious to ignore.

Now, you could defend Shane-O-Mac by claiming that this could happen to anyone. One mic in the wrong spot at the wrong time, and a call gets picked up. Sure, in a sense that’s true. This could happen to anyone. But when was the last time you saw this happen to Seth Rollins? Or AJ Styles? Or Roman Reigns or Chris Jericho or anyone else that was in that match? Never. That’s when. Because those guys are highly trained professionals who have devoted their entire lives to this craft. From now on, please, let’s leave the wrestling to the wrestlers. My heart still wants to believe.

James Ellsworth’s Wrestling Gear

Why is James Ellsworth still wearing his wrestling trunks and knee pads when he comes down to the ring? I don’t have any analysis of this. I just want answers.

Also, has anyone checked on James Ellsworth? Will RAW begin with his lifeless body still buried in a pile of tables next to the ramp?

Graves and Renallo: Together At Last

Survivor Series 2016 was, in my opinion, a fantastic PPV event. It gave the fans an opportunity to see some of the industry’s brightest stars share the stage for the first time since RAW and SmackDown Live went their separate ways. It was great to see Becky Lynch reunited with the other members of the Four Horsewomen. It was great to see all three members of the Shield in the same ring at the same time. But there was one marriage of talent that will go unappreciated by most, and that is why I want to finish this article by pointing out how lucky we were to have gotten a taste of hearing the voices of Mauro Ranallo and Corey Graves calling a match together. (I know they both worked on the CWC, but Graves was only working “back stage” at that event and Daniel Bryan was in charge of providing the color commentary). Not since Mariah and Whitney have I been this moved by two voices finally coming together to sing one song.

Corey Graves has been doing great work on RAW recently, and before that he spent a few years doing stellar work on NXT. Add to that Mauro Ranallo who, for my money, is hands-down the best play-by-play man in the game, or really any game (Pride Never Dies) and we got a quick taste of how great things could be when it comes to professional wrestling commentary. For those of you, and I know there are many, who watch RAW every week but don’t tune in to SmackDown Live on Tuesday nights, I hope Mauro’s work last night gave you an idea of what you’ve been missing.

Even though this microphone match made in heaven only received a short amount of time during the Survivor Series, we can all thankfully look forward to hearing them every week on the new WWE Network Cruiserweight division series, 205 Live! 

– This article was penned by Ben “The Hitman” Helms, who can be heard each week on Comicbook.com’s own wrestling podcast, @CBOverTheRopes