The 34-year-old co-host of The View appeared on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen on Thursday, opening up about the surreal experience and noting that at the time of her dad's death, she never thought she'd be able to do anything "fun" again.
"First of all, there was a time in my life when I didn't even think I could come back to New York and I didn't think I could ever see someone like you again," she told Cohen. "I didn't think I could appear on a fun show again. I was so heartbroken and dead. So I'm really happy just to be here and live. America's support for my family, I think you're not going to see that again for generations. It was incredible and I'm still grateful."
Of her moving speech at Sen. McCain's funeral, she said it was the hardest thing she's ever had to do, comparing the experience to being on drugs.
"I can never do anything like that again, ever,” she said. “It was so intense. I’ve never taken drugs, but it’s what I imagine being on drugs would have been like. You just look out and there’s every president, notable figure. And when I was walking up I was like, ‘I can’t believe my father wanted me to do this.’ I really wanted to be in the moment. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life and by far the hardest and worst."
McCain added that she had former vice president Joe Biden to thank for his support throughout the grieving process. Biden's son, Beau, died several years earlier from the same brain cancer that Sen. McCain suffered from.
"I probably wouldn't be here without Joe Biden," McCain said. "I don't know if I would have really survived it without him. We obviously disagree politically and if he runs for president I have to quit The View because I can't say anything bad about him. I don't think I could do it."
Earlier this month, McCain made sure to credit husband Ben Domenech with helping her make it through her father's battle with cancer. On an episode of The View, she gushed over her husband, whom she married in November 2017, just a few months after Sen. McCain was diagnosed with glioblastoma.
“I dated everything. Every kind of person possible. I dated extremely wealthy men, famous men, poor guys, everything in between -- and I married for love, honestly," McCain said during a discussion on people who marry for love.
She continued, “Everything else will work itself out. I married for love, and my husband carried me through my dad’s cancer... And if I had married a jacka– that made the most money ever, that was the wealthiest dude I dated, no way I would have survived last year. I’m just saying, marry for love. As cheesy as that sounds!”0comments
Since Sen. McCain's death at age 81, McCain has paid frequent tribute to the late Republican on Instagram and during public appearances. On New Year's Eve, she celebrated by sharing a photo of a snow-covered bench her father liked to sit on, adorned with U.S. flags and the POW/MIA flag.
"Happy New Year Dad @senjohnmccain. I love you and miss you more intensely than I can possibly say ~ Illegitimi non carborundum," she wrote in the caption.