Teen Mom 2 star Leah Messer is opening up like never before. The reality star, who has penned a new memoir, Hope, Grace & Faith, is even opening up about a very specific and emotional time in her life. As fans may recall, the MTV personality previously lost a pregnancy in 2012 and later explained on the Teen Mom 2 Season 4 premiere that she had experienced a miscarriage. In her memoir, which was published on Tuesday, Messer revealed that she lied about that revelation and that she actually had an abortion.
“[If I could change anything,] I would have been more honest about the abortion. I would’ve owned that then and been 100 percent honest,” Messer told Us Weekly. “I would have been more considerate — even about my journey in general, just holding myself accountable and holding myself high for my journey.” In Hope, Grace & Faith, Messer explained how the situation unfolded. She described that her mother told her that she could take the abortion pills in secret.
“I didn’t feel anything after I left the clinic, but the next day I took the second pill and a few hours later I started cramping,” she wrote in her memoir. “They told me that it would be like having a heavy period, but it was way more than that. My mom was with me and when the cramping started, she called Jeremy. When she told him I was having a miscarriage, the way she played the role of concerned mother was so damn convincing even I couldn’t tell she was lying. … I don’t think it was real to me until that moment and all I could think was, what the f— did I just do? It was the worst thing I had ever been through.”
Messer related that filming on Teen Mom 2 had already stopped for the season, so she didn't believe that it would be included on the show. Although, she added that after she told production about what had occurred, they sent a film crew to see her. The reality star noted that she "barely processed what had happened" when they arrived. She also added that she wasn't "OK" with her decision to lie about the situation.
“It felt so dark because it was hidden. I wasn’t able to talk publicly or privately about it because I let the people who were closest to me at the time convince me that it was something I needed to hide,” Messer wrote. “It wasn’t until I was finally able to bring myself to tell Jeremy what had really happened that I started to realize that as long as I was living with the lie it would keep eating away at me. I carried the pain and the guilt around with me for years, until I finally got to the point where I could hold myself accountable for my choices without punishing myself for them.”