The Real Housewives of Orange County‘s Tamra Judge got real about her fears for her son Ryan Vieth as she struggled to repair their relationship in an emotional therapy session during Tuesday’s episode of the Bravo series. Breaking down in tears as she tried to work through some of the traumas that have developed since she was pregnant with her eldest at 17.
“He’s not in a good headspace, and I hate to see him struggle,” Judge told their therapist of her son. “I feel like he’s at a point in his life when he’s just numb to life. When Ryan gets overloaded with things, he just kind of shuts down. He’s at that point in his life right now where he’s not happy, and I want to see him happy.”
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Having gotten pregnant as a teen with Ryan’s dad, Darren Vieth, Judge was left to raise her son on their own after the two divorced in 1990. Soon after, Judge met her second husband, Simon Barney, whom she married in 1998 and had daughters Sidney, 20, and Sophia, 13, as well as son Spencer, 18. Judge and Barney split in 2011, and the RHOC star married Eddie Judge in 2013.
“I think I had a lot of resentment growing up,” Ryan admitted on Tuesday’s episode. “I didn’t have the worst life, but the older I get, the more I see how my brother, my sisters are growing up. I think a bit of me inside is angry about it.”
Judge continued to Ryan’s therapist, “I carry guilt because I feel like I let him down. I look at my kids now and the opportunities that they have. I have two kids in college now. Ryan, he ran out of the house at 18 because he couldn’t stand his stepdad.”
As part of an exercise during the therapy session, Ryan revealed he feels like a “bad person” who is “worthless,” “powerless, “can’t succeed” and doesn’t matter. Hearing her son say these things had Judge deeply scared for him.
“I struggled with depression, I was sad, I had no self-worth. To hear Ryan say that, it scares me,” Tamra sobbed. “I worry that one day Ryan might commit suicide. That’s my biggest fear.”
The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
Photo credit: Gabe Ginsberg/FilmMagic/Getty
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