Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler had been discussing divorce long before they announced Sunday their intention to split after 10 years together, a source close to the couple told PEOPLE after the former couple's contentious divorce filings made headlines Monday. The Laguna Beach alum and former NFL star reportedly struggled with their decision to split due to the three children they have together: sons Camden, 7, and Jaxon, 5, and daughter Saylor, 4.
"They have had divorce talks back and forth for a while. They didn't want to get a divorce, because of the kids. Kristin has been very torn about it," the source said, adding that the pair is focused on keeping things friendly for their children. "When she realized that it just wasn't possible for them to stay married, her focus was on keeping things amicable."
Things already seem to be getting less-than-amicable in the former pair's divorce filings, however, with Cavallari citing both "irreconcilable differences" and "inappropriate marital conduct" as the reason for their split. Additionally, the Very Cavallari star asked that the court make her "the primary residential custodian" of their three children, with "reasonable periods of parenting time" for her ex. Culter, meanwhile, simply cited "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for divorce, and requested to make both parents "joint custodians and joint decision-makers."
"She wants full custody of the kids, because she feels she is able to provide the most stable environment for them," PEOPLE's source said of the discrepancy. "Kristin is strong and confident. She is also an amazing mom. If Jay wants to break their deal about keeping things amicable, she is not scared of fighting for what she wants for their kids."
The Hills alum still wants Cutler to have time "as much as possible" with their kids, the source added. "Just because she wants full custody, it doesn't mean she doesn't want Jay to spend time with the kids. She just thinks the kids are better off living with her."
Sunday, Cavallari announced she and Cutler would be going their separate ways: "With great sadness, after 10 years together we have come to a loving conclusion to get a divorce," she wrote on social media. "We have nothing but love and respect for one another and are deeply grateful for the years shared, memories made, and the children we are so proud of. This is just the situation of two people growing apart. We ask everyone to respect our privacy as we navigate this difficult time within our family."