Amy Duggar Reveals Why She Didn’t Appear at Grandma Mary’s Funeral on ‘Counting On’

Amy Duggar is opening up about her decision to remain off camera as Grandma Mary Duggar’s funeral was shown on this week’s episode of Counting On. Sharing a slideshow of photos alongside her late grandmother, who died at the age of 78 in June, Amy revealed in the caption that she wanted to grieve privately on that big day in her family’s life.

“It’s ok to request to grieve in private.. it’s ok to not want to be shown,” she wrote. “I was a mess that day, and even though it was a celebration of her life it was still probably the hardest day I’ve ever had.”

“Not a day has gone by where I don’t think of her, she wasn’t just a Gma to me but more of a best friend,” Amy continued. “She was so so loved… and I’ll cherish every memory I have of her.”

Mary was determined to have died of accidental drowning in a swimming pool on June 9, Arkansas Coroner Roger W. Morris told PEOPLE at the time.

“Duggar slipped and fell into the pool and drowned,” Morris explained. “Her daughter Deanna discovered her body and alerted authorities, who pronounced her dead at the scene.”

The Duggar family confirmed the news not long after with a loving tribute on their Facebook page.

“We are so sad to share that Grandma Duggar (Mary) passed away Sunday afternoon, June 9th, 2019. Mary Lester Duggar grew up in Farmington, Arkansas and was married almost 50 years to J.L. (Jimmy Lee) Duggar who preceded her in death,” they wrote.

“Mary found great joy in sharing her love for Jesus and her own story of how at age 15 she asked Christ to forgive her for her sins,” the statement continued. “It was at that time she committed the rest of her life to live for Him, a commitment she kept with devotion. She loved to share with others how they too could be forgiven of their sins, live a fulfilling life as a Christian, and one day spend eternity in heaven.”

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