Kid Cudi Reflects on His Period of Heavy Cocaine Use and Deep Depression

Rapper Kid Cudi marked the 14th anniversary of his sophomore album with a frank discussion about his past struggles. Addressing fans on Nov. 9 via X (formerly Twitter), he revealed the challenging circumstances surrounding Man on the Moon: The Legend of Mr. Rager.

“As a lot of you know, this was a very difficult time for me. I was heavily using cocaine, my depression was stronger than it ever was at that time, and I didnt think I’d make it to see 30,” Cudi wrote. He credited fan support for his survival: “But you all listened, and supported me, and were there for me, and thats part of the reason, prolly the main reason, I made it thru the darkness at that time.”

He added, “They say an artists 2nd album is the most important. I knew I couldnt f— this up. And I made sure to deliver something that was just as good as my first album, to show u all I was meant to be here and I wasnt some one trick pony.”

The artist, born Scott Mescudi, has previously traced his mental health challenges to childhood trauma. “My father passed when I was 11, and things started to slowly get bad after that,” he explained at a New York-Presbyterian Hospital fundraiser in 2022, per Self.

As the youngest of four siblings, he often felt isolated: “I was alone a lot, not really talking to my mom about what I was feeling. How do you come up to Mom, who’s dealing with four kids and your dad died and she’s taking care of everybody on her own?”

His substance use intensified alongside his rising fame. “It wasn’t scary until later on in my life, as I was Kid Cudi,” he revealed. The situation deteriorated until he contemplated suicide: “I was suicidal. I was darker than I ever had been in my life. I’m thinking about, ‘How could I do this without my family finding out, without my friends finding out?’ Like I’m actually plotting my death.”

This crisis became his turning point: “That was what really scared me straight to the point where I said I needed to go get help…I want to live for my daughter, for my family, for my friends, for my fans. I want to live, I want this for myself.”

Cudi’s openness about mental health has significantly influenced hip-hop culture. Former Complex Editor in Chief Noah Callahan-Bever noted, via PopSugar, “Cudi pulled back the layers to show you some universal truths. That created a depth of connection that very, very few artists are able to create,” helping normalize such discussions in a genre historically constrained by toxic masculinity.

His impact extends to contemporary artists, with Logic crediting Cudi for inspiring his suicide prevention awareness song, “1-800-273-8255.” “He was the dude that was like, ‘It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to talk about these things and go through these things,’” Logic stated.

Post-rehabilitation, Cudi has implemented various wellness strategies, including modified work patterns. “Since rehab, I’ve been pacing myself with work. For example, I don’t drop an album every year anymore; I do it every other year,” he explained via Self, noting the previous schedule “took its toll on me.”

Reflecting on his album’s anniversary, Cudi showed gratitude to his fanbase on X: “To everyone that still bumps this album, or spread the word over the years, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. The rest is history. To the fans, thank you for never leaving me lonely.”