Meet the Woman Who Started an Instagram Account Dedicated to Her Double Mastectomy Scars
(Photo: Instagram / @paige_previvor)When Paige More was 22 years old, at the urging of her mother, [...]
When Paige More was 22 years old, at the urging of her mother, she took a test to see if she was genetically predisposed for cancer. Two of her family members died from cancer (breast and ovarian) when she was young.
A few weeks later, the doctor called with some bad news.
"I had tested positive for the genetic mutation to the BRCA1 gene — a gene that helps suppress cell growth," Paige told Elle. "It meant I was at high risk for both breast and ovarian cancer."
Paige had other options, but in the end decided to undergo a preventative double mastectomy.
"In the fall of 2016 [a year later], I decided that I didn't want to live my life filled with anxiety and the fear of waiting to get sick," she said. "I would take control and kill the chance of getting cancer before cancer could try to kill me."
Click through to read more about Paige's "previvor" (pre-survivor) journey.
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When she woke up from the surgery, Paige remembers seeing her breasts for the first time and being surprised that the doctors had kept her nipples.
"The doctors had made an incision below my breasts, lifted the skin, and scooped out the breast tissue, leaving the nipples. 'Wow, they look beautiful,' I said."
Paige's mom took a photo of Paige flashing the "Hook 'em, Horns" hand signal for her college team, the University of Texas-Austin's Longhorns.
"Tubes attached to me drained blood and fluid, and doctors had inserted 'expanders' beneath my skin — sacs that the doctors would fill with saline to help stretch the skin to fit eventual implants. In a few weeks, the doctors would start filling the sacs, and continue to do so gradually over time, until they reached the size I wanted. Then the sacs would come out and the implants would go in — another major surgery."
Despite the "drains" and other hardware attached to her body, Paige was able to slowly but surely walk down the hospital hall the morning after her surgery.
Paige says the first week post-surgery was a painful blur. Not only was she on two type of painkillers, but she also had no appetite and thanks to the drains was not even allowed to bathe.
"After a week, I felt disgusting — all I wanted to do was shower! I mustered up enough strength to walk across the street from my Manhattan apartment to a Drybar to have a blowout — the ultimate pick-me-up. My mom, who was staying with me, called the salon in advance to tell them about me. I walked into the salon in my robe, and apologized to the woman who shampooed my hair: I had been wearing it in a bun for a week, and when she undid the bun, my hair wouldn't move. She said, 'Girl, I've seen worse!' The manager styled my hair into beachy waves and declined to charge me."
Next, the tubes and drains were removed — which was "the best feeling ever," according to Paige.
"Now only the 'expanders' remained. I posted a picture with the drains before they came out. I really exposed myself with that, but I wanted to share it — mainly for my 13-year-old sister in California, who hadn't gotten the genetic test yet (my 22-year-old sister had already tested negative, thankfully)."
Paige flew home to California to recuperate. She took a photo in front of a bright pink wall wearing nothing but a leather jacket and her bandages.
"I took my first bath there in a week and had my sister take a picture, revealing my scars. I felt proud of them and found them beautiful—a symbol of strength. I decided to start an Instagram page devoted solely to my journey: paige previvor. (A 'previvor' is a pre-survivor.) I'd gotten so much help from the comments and wanted to pass it along to others."
All of these things can kill me, but breast cancer won't be one of them ??
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While in California, Paige took a photo in front of a mural of guns, cigarettes and other vices. "I captioned it: 'All of these things can kill me, but breast cancer won't be one of them.'"
And even though Paige feels empowered and in control by her decision, there are also times when she's scared, lonely and sad.
"Even though I was trying hard not to scare people, there were plenty of hard times too. And one night when I was feeling emotional, my mom took a video. I was worried because my left nipple had been healing well, but my right nipple hadn't. The doctors had said not to worry, but still, I felt scared that something could go wrong. 'I feel like I always have to be strong,' I said to my mom in the video. 'But sometimes it's still just scary.' It got thousands of views. One woman wrote, 'What you have started here has brought all of us together. It's given us a place to give and receive advice, support, and feel like other people out there get it.'"
About a month after her surgery, Paige told Elle that she's happy with her decision, even though she still struggles.
"I'm off the painkillers now, but struggling with random spurts of depression, which my doctors say is typical. I went to my first support group the other night, and it helped to meet other women—it also reinforced my drive to keep building a community online."
On Sunday, Feb. 12, Paige walked the runway during New York Fashion Week with other survivors and "previvors" in a show called "Exposed," sponsored by #Cancerland and Ana Ono Intimates.
"Tonight I walked for my Previvors!" Paige wrote. "My BRCA sisters. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are not alone. You don't have to be scared. You can do this! We are in this together. I love you all and I am so thankful to have this amazing community of breast friends. Together we can do amazing things. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would be able to walk in NYFW only five weeks after my preventative double mastectomy. This is just the beginning!"
"I spend a lot of time now texting and talking with women who come to me through Instagram," Paige said. "The thing that has surprised me most is how sexy I feel. My decision to take action made me feel incredibly powerful and strong—and that's so sexy to me. When I look at my scars, I think they're pretty badass. I grabbed control of my life. I went from being a worrier to a warrior."
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