We are lovers, not fighters. The evidence is your children. But fights happen, oftentimes over the tiniest things that simply rub you the wrong way: he ate the last slice of gouda cheese, he slammed the door, you decided to read a book instead of watching a movie with him. A survey found that 45 percent of pairs who say they're unhappy bicker fairly often, compared with only 11 percent of couples who say they're very happy in their relationship. That 11 percent probably do some of these 8 things everyday to stay happily in love.
There are ways to simmer the fights before they become full-blown screaming matches: get silly and laugh. Although it may be easier to let your rage take over, you will probably regret it later on. Instead, adopt a few silly techniques to diffuse arguments in their midst.
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Sport out your disagreements. We all are naturally a little competitive. When trying to decide who should cook dinner starts to turn into an argument, let chance decide the winner. Play three rounds of a thumb war or Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who is chef for the night. "It's competition, but it's fun competition," says Rachel Sussman, author of "The Breakup Bible", in an interview for Women's Health Magazine. Competition will turn the situation playful and, hopefully, you will realize that there is no reason for anger. In the end, show your appreciation to your significant other, especially if they're the one cooking the meal.
Talk funny. Put marriage counselors out of business with this one. If you and your significant other are in a fight, breathe in some helium from a balloon and continue talking. The first one to laugh loses. Or, simply talk in the voice of your favorite cartoon character: Porky Pig, Spongebob, Cartman from "South Park". Also, talking in third person in these funny voices will help you both steer clear of personal jabs. You'll both feel ridiculous, blabbering like cartoon characters about the dog's poop on the floor, but it'll help you focus on the minor issue really being a minor issue, not a problem with your relationship.
Use a silly code word to simmer down. Make an agreement that heated conversations will be diffused with one word. It's best to use something that you both have a fond memory of: "meatloaf" from your first date when your meatloaf blew up in the oven, or "hootenanny," simply because it's fun to say. Your code word will ease the tension and lighten the mood considerably. You'll both crack a smile and be reminded that you've had some really great times together, and will continue to have really great times together in the future.
Text like teenage girls. Texting has revolutionized our lives, but we often misinterpret how things are said when we can't actually hear their voice. Insert positivity into every line of your text with emojis: hearts, pizza slices, an octopus, or even a toilet. Making your messages as silly as possible will lessen how harsh some of things we say come across (whether we mean them to sound harsh or not.) Similarly, if you haven't already done so, make the display photo a funny picture of the two of you. Maybe the one from your trip to the zoo where the chimpanzee is making faces behind the two of you. If you're long-distance arguing and that picture pops up, it will remind you of the little things that brought you both together.
Laughter is the best medicine and possibly the cure for everything! After a good clapping-like-a-seal laughing spree, makeup sex might be in the cards. Because laughter lessens anxiety in stressful situations, it can pave the way for a more intimate bond.0comments
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