Michael Ray had a troubling end to 2017. After being part of the Route 91 Harvest Festival, performing on the same ground that, two days after his performance, became the scene of the largest mass shooting in history, the singer, already prone to anxiety, struggled even more. So when he was arrested in December on DUI and cannabis oil possession charges, the incident, in many ways, became a wake-up call for the singer.
“I honestly never saw that coming, but with it there was that vulnerability and a side I never had experienced,” Ray tells Rolling Stone Country. “I’ve never been in trouble a day in my life. โฆ I’m overthinking, anxiety-driven, so add that on top of it. I was like, ‘What the hell just happened? Is this it? Is this going to mess everything up that we’re doing?’ Everything’s going great, and boom, that happens.
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“But through that,” he continues, “I never felt more love and support from fans or from my peers in country music.”
Even as a child, the 30-year-old struggled with feeling anxious, although he didn’t realize he how common that was until he began performing, and meeting others who struggled in a similar way.
“I battled anxiety my entire life โ a drastic amount that I’ve hid,” reveals Ray. “It caused ulcers as a kid โฆ I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was like, ‘Why am I waking up and already feel this pressure on my chest?’ I’m gonna put on a smile and do this, but on the inside, I’m scared. All this stupid stuff that’s in your head and you can’t get out. Then I started meeting fans.”
“I’m realizing, ‘We’re all the same and this is me.’ This is the crap I went through. This is what I battle,” he continues. “If I can say it, hopefully it inspires somebody through my music or maybe they see an interview or whatever it is, and they go, ‘That’s how I feel.’ There were times where it wasn’t the easiest, and I always try to be on and cool: ‘Oh, I’ve got my sh** together.’ But I don’t.”
Although Ray wasn’t in Las Vegas when the shooting occurred, the aftermath is something he continues to live with today. The Florida native, who immediately partnered with Musicians on Call to bring music to those injured from the shooting, he still struggles with the enormity of the event.
“I try not to let it affect me, because I don’t want that guy to win,” Ray tells PopCulture.com, although he admits being outside and crowds still make him uncomfortable. “I don’t want evil to win. I don’t want to spend a second of my time being there, to go, ‘Oh, there’s a tall building.’ Any of that stuff. We’re human, and it happened to our community, it happened to our family, it happened to our people.
“To say that there wouldn’t be a fear, would be lying,” he adds. “I think that anytime you go into places, you see places different. You’re here somewhere and you look up, and you’re constantly just kind of nervous being around, which sucks.”
Ray later had his DUI charges reduced to reckless driving. His latest album, Amos, was just released, and is available for purchase on his website.
Photo Credit: Instagram/michaelraymusic