Jimmie Allen is opening up about the loss of his father, James E. Allen, who passed away in September. The "Make Me Want To" singer recalls his final moments with his dad, and explains why he is having such a hard time coming to terms with his father's absence.
"It was weird. because I used to think he was invincible," Allen revealed on the All Our Favorite People Podcast. "And then this last time when he got sick, it got real."
By the time Allen arrived in Delaware to see his father for the last time, James was already unconscious, so instead of staying at the hospital, Allen went to the place he knew he would feel closest to his beloved parent – their fishing spot.
"I felt like that's what I needed," said the 33-year-old. "It gave me a chance to think about all the good times we had, and accept the fact that he was gone. I was in a place where I can remember him, and see him the way I knew him, not laying on a hospital bed with tubes all in his mouth and not responding."
Allen shared his decision to go fishing on social media, along with a throwback photo of the pair.
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"The thought of the person you love being in heaven is a lot easier to process than them being in the dirt rotting away," Allen wrote. "What really happens after death? Honestly I don't know. Saying goodbye to my daddy is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. As you get older you sometimes think about losing your parents but nothing to prepares you for it when it actually happens. When I got the news he died I was fishing at one of our favorite spots in Lewes (Roosevelt Inlet). I decided to do something we both enjoyed doing rather than go to the hospital and see him laying there lifeless.
"As I reeled my line I thought about all the memories me and dad had fishing there," he continued. "I'm gonna miss the man that raised me on country music and who I give credit for my career today, The man that taught me the meaning of hard work. I love you dad and I'm thankful for the time we had. Wherever you are now I hope I showed you I love you and how much you mean to me. Miss you Big Jim
It was James who instilled in Allen a love of country music, and encouraged his son to pursue his musical dreams. So when his father was no longer living, the music he loved became a painful reminder for Allen of his aching loss.
"I couldn't even listen to country music for like two weeks," Allen acknowledged. "I would sing it and struggle and get through. But on the radio, I don't want to hear it, because that reminds me of my dad. So, on a few shows, there was some of his favorite songs we didn't sing, and they were some of the crowd favorites every time we played them.
"I couldn't get through it. Then there was one show we did with [Rascal] Flatts. I didn't even finish the last song. I was just like, 'Y'all have a good night. I'm out. I'm done.'"
Photo Credit: Getty / Danielle Del Valle