Granger Smith's wife, Amber, is opening up about her grief process, after the tragic loss of the couple's 3-year-old son, River, in a drowning accident on their property last month. The singer's wife reveals that she needed time alone to grieve the loss of their toddler, and find a way to move forward. With Smith on the road without his family, Amber used the time to get out all of her emotions.
"We have had such overwhelming help since we lost River," Amber shared on Instagram, along with a touching photo of the mother and son. "People have been at our house non-stop, checking on us, bringing us food, talking with us, praying with us, but for the first time in a month, I was alone for a couple days this past weekend. Granger was on tour and the kids were with family. I decided I needed to just be alone. I needed to just feel all of the emotions. I allowed myself to let out everything I was feeling. I cried. Guttural, animal cries for our son. I’m pretty sure I cried inside and outside every place there was on our property. I so needed it. I talked to God, I talked to River, I read books on Hope and Joy and Grief and Love.
"I watched movies about Heaven. Cried some more," she continued. "There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but the way Granger and I see it, we can run away from God at this time or we can run to Him. He’s been with us every step of the way, from the first responders and neighbors the night of the accident, to the doctors and nurses hands, to the friends and family by our side, to everything that fell into place so seamlessly for River’s service, to the rainbow He gave us after. He’s been there. So why would we turn on Him now?"
Amber also said that the family remains committed to their faith, in spite of their sorrow.
"This life isn’t meant to be perfect," Amber reflected. "We will face trials and tribulations, loss and heartache, but it’s how we respond to everything thrown at us that matters. Will we retreat and hide from it or will we learn grow from it? I know what I’m choosing. I’m making a conscious choice each and every day to grow from all of this. Does it suck, hell yes. Do I understand? Hell no. Will I have setbacks? Yes. But do I Trust? Yes.
"I’m committed to loving people and raising kind humans and spreading our love for God, even in the sh–ty, unfair times," she added. "For anyone going through a life changing event in their lives, you are stronger than you think. You can get up. You can fight and find joy, not happiness, happiness is circumstantial. I won’t be 'happy' for a while, maybe ever, but I can still have joy in my heart. Joy for my family, my life, and God. And you can too."
Smith also opened up about his own grief in a new video posted on YouTube. The "Damn Strait" singer said he needed time away to grieve in his own way.
"I also feel like Amber and I separating for a little bit, it's difficult because we've been each other's crutch," Smith acknowledged. "But at the same time, it's good for us to stand on two feet for a few days. I'm going to see them in a few more days, and then they're going to go out on tour with me again."0comments
The Smith family has donated more than $218,000 to Dell Medical Center, where River was treated. The money raised was from the sale of t-shirts made in River's honor, which are available for purchase on Smith's website.
Photo Credit: Instagram / Granger Smith