Meghan McCain is reflecting on the difficulties of missing a loved one this holiday season.
On Sunday, McCain took to Instagram to share a photo of her father and reflect on the depth of her loss, revealing that 113 days after his death, she still finds herself waiting for him to call.
John McCain passed away in August at the age of 81 following a battle with brain cancer.
“For some reason I cried yesterday at the realization that I’m never going to see you rush downstairs again like you always used to do in the capitol,” The View co-host wrote alongside a photo of her father on Thanksgiving, his favorite holiday.
“It’s a strange thing to get upset over,” she continued. “You were always in a hurry and would walk down with this almost canter/hop because of your inability to bend your knee. It was always entertaining to watch and it occurred to me that you might be the only person in the world that moved down a staircase like that.”
“I’m still waiting for you to call me on my phone, I’m still waiting to get on a flight to meet you for Christmas, I’m still waiting to be woken up from this bizarre nightmare/coma that was the last year watching what happens to a person who fights glioblastoma. I’m still waiting for a lot of things and guess I probably will be for the rest of my life… 113 days,” she wrote
“You’re omnipresent in my life, heart and mind Dad and it still doesn’t feel real you aren’t here. I try and remind myself that the intensity of the pain of missing you is important because it is a reminder of how my love for you was so incredibly strong. That the pain I carry is the trade off I made for loving someone so purely and I wouldn’t change a thing about it, even now,” she concluded. “I love you forever. Stay with me.”
McCain has frequently spoken out about the difficulties of losing a loved one, opening up about navigating loss during the holidays during an episode of The View after her first Thanksgiving without her father.0comments
“If you’re having a bad holiday season, right here, I’m with you. Okay?” she said. “Sometimes it’s hard, and it’s really hard with social media that everyone looks like they’re having a perfect holiday. And for those of us who aren’t, it’s okay.”
McCain recently remembered her father by traveling to London to attend the Sergei Magnitsky Human Rights Awards, where she accepted an award on her father’s behalf for outstanding contribution to human rights law.