Meghan Markle is opening up about her biggest regret in life since entering the royal family. The Duchess of Sussex and husband Prince Harry spoke candidly during a highly-anticipated sit-down interview with Oprah Winfrey Sunday in which they revealed the true reasons for their decision to step back from royal life. Asked if they had any regrets looking back at how things played out now that they have established a new life for themselves in Los Angeles, the royal couple initially differed.
“No. I’m really proud of us,” Harry answered. “I’m so proud of my wife. She safely delivered [1-year-old son] Archie during a period of time which was so cruel and so mean. Every day I was coming back to my life in London and she was crying while breastfeeding Archie. We did what we had to do.” Meghan is expecting her second child, a little girl, she told Winfrey Sunday, after announcing her pregnancy last month.
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Markle answered Winfrey, “I have one. My regret is believing [the royal family] when they said I would be protected. And I regret believing that because I think had I really seen that that wasn’t happening, I would have been able to do more, but I think I wasn’t supposed to see it. I wasn’t supposed to know and now because we’re actually on the other side, we’ve actually not just survived but are thriving.”
The former Suits actress even shared that royal life and the surrounding tabloid fodder had a devastating effect on her mental health and that she repeatedly had suicidal ideations. “I was ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry. But I knew that if I didn’t say it โ then I would do it,” she explained of getting help. “I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.”
Calling those thoughts of self-harm “clear and real and frightening and constant” thoughts, Markle said she “thought it would have solved everything for everyone,” reminding people to be kind to everyone, as you don’t know what others are going through in private. “I think so important for people to remember is you have no idea what’s going on for someone behind closed doors. No idea,” she said. “Even the people that smile and shine the brightest lights. You need to have compassion for what is actually potentially going on.”
If you or someone you know are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741-741.