"For a long time I thought I had a severe sleep disorder," the superstar shared. "But it wasn't normal insomnia and I wasn't lying awake counting sheep. I was working and working and working … I was irritable and in constant fear of letting people down."
She continued, "It turns out that I was experiencing a form of mania. Eventually I would just hit a wall. I guess my depressive episodes were characterized by having very low energy. I would feel so lonely and sad — even guilty that I wasn't doing what I needed to be doing for my career."
Carey noted that when she was diagnosed, "I didn't want to believe it."
The singer explained that she made the decision to finally seek treatment after "the hardest couple of years I've been through," which have seen the singer go through both professional and romantic ups and downs.
"Until recently I lived in denial and isolation and in constant fear someone would expose me," the star said. "It was too heavy a burden to carry and I simply couldn't do that anymore. I sought and received treatment, I put positive people around me and I got back to doing what I love — writing songs and making music."
Carey is now in therapy and taking medication for bipolar II disorder, which involves depressive episodes as well as hypomanic episodes. The hypomania associated with bipolar II is less severe than the mania associated with bipolar I.
"I'm actually taking medication that seems to be pretty good. It's not making me feel too tired or sluggish or anything like that. Finding the proper balance is what is most important," Carey revealed.
The mom of two said she decided to share her story because "I'm just in a really good place right now, where I'm comfortable discussing my struggles with bipolar II disorder."
She added, "I'm hopeful we can get to a place where the stigma is lifted from people going through anything alone. It can be incredibly isolating. It does not have to define you and I refuse to allow it to define me or control me."
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