Singer Demi Lovato said the end of her short-lived engagement to actor Max Ehrich helped her understand her sexuality. The former couple started dating early last year and got engaged in July, but they broke up in September. Lovato, 28, opened up about her love life in a new interview ahead of Dancing With the Devil's release, a new YouTube documentary on her life.
During an interview with Glamour, Lovato described herself as "really queer," adding that she knows "who I am and what I am, but I'm just waiting until a specific timeline to come out to the world as what I am." She uses her "healers' timeline" and is using the time to "really study and educate myself on my journey and what I’m preparing to do." Part of this newfound understanding is going with a pixie cut, and she plans to shave her head soon completely. All of this came after her relationship with Ehrich ended.
“When I started getting older, I started realizing how queer I really am,” Lovato told the magazine. “This past year, I was engaged to a man, and when it didn’t work, I was like, This is a huge sign. I thought I was going to spend my life with someone. Now that I wasn’t going to, I felt this sense of relief that I could live my truth.”
Lovato, who also had a long-term relationship with actor Wilmer Valderrama before dating Ehrich, said she is "too queer" to date a cis man now. After she "hooked up" with a woman, she felt better. "Some of the guys I was hanging out with—when it would come time to be sexual or intimate, I would have this kind of visceral reaction," Lovato explained. "Like, ‘I just don’t want to put my mouth there.’ It wasn’t even based on the person it was with. I just found myself really appreciating the friendships of those people more than the romance, and I didn’t want the romance from anybody of the opposite sex."
The failed engagement is part of the new documentary and its effect on how Lovato views herself today. She is not sure she will be able to open up to someone else again. "Because I denied my intuition of all the red flags that had popped up, I had no one else to blame but myself,” she told Glamour. “So I was like, ‘How am I ever going to trust again?’ But really, I was like, 'B—; you should have trusted yourself. If you had trusted yourself, you wouldn’t have ended up in this position.'"
Dancing With the Devil also touches on Lovato's personal struggles, including her brush with death in 2018. That year, she survived a drug overdose. In a previous interview with PEOPLE, Lovato said she did not regret anything, believing that the "painful journey" taught the lessons she needed to learn.
Today, Lovato is "done" with the drugs that led to her overdose, she told Glamour. However, she believed that completely swearing off alcohol or smoking a little weed would not work. After speaking with her recovery case manager and team, she decided to seek a balance in the "substance side of my life." Her team agreed that she "deserves this opportunity to make that choice for herself." "So I did," Lovato told Glamour. Dancing With the Devil will be released on March 23.