Just weeks after Chrissy Teigen and husband John Legend's devastating news regarding the loss of their third child, Jack, she is finally addressing the public with "what happened." The sweet pair announced via an Instagram post that they had lost their third child to a miscarriage during Teigen's pregnancy, and this being one of the hardest things they'll ever endure, they were greeted with both love and hate. So, in a long and heartfelt note, Teigen not only discussed her thought process but also chimed in at those criticizing her for being so open with her journey.
"I had no idea when I would be ready to write this," she started her lengthy post. "Part of me thought it would be early on, when I was still really feeling the pain of what happened. I thought I would sit in the corner of my bedroom with the lights dimmed, just rolling off my thoughts. I'd have a glass of red wine, cozy up with a blanket, and finally get the chance to address 'what happened.'"
She continued, "Instead, I'm writing from the downstairs couch, still cozied up in a blanket but buzzing from a morning of friends and fried chicken. I'm reading off countless notes from my phone — thoughts that have randomly popped up in the weeks since. I didn't really know how I would start this, no matter the room or state I was in, but it feels right to begin with a thank you. For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness. Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes. Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, 'you probably won't read this, but...' I can assure you, I did."
She detailed being diagnosed with partial placenta abruption, something she dealt with when delivering their second child Miles, forcing her to deliver him a month early. She noted the fluid in her belly got so low, she could almost feel Jack's arms and legs from the outside of her belly as she bled for days-on-end. Finally, reaching a point where her own life would be put in danger, she and Legend were forced to do the unthinkable and say goodbye to their precious baby boy.
In recalling the tragic moment, Teigen said that she requested Legend and her mom take photos, no matter how hard it was going to be. While it was a very difficult thing for Legend himself to do, he did it anyway. She eventually shared a heartbreaking photo from that night but was heavily criticized for it, so she addressed that as well.
"I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it's something you wouldn't have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren't for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. the thoughts of others do not matter to me," she addressed.
After pushing Jack out, all three of the family members were able to hold him and say their goodbyes, "mom sobbing through Thai prayer" she noted, "I asked the nurses to show me his hands and feet and I kissed them over and over and over again. I have no idea when I stopped." After continuing to share her heartbreak with fans, she ended by saying that this was something she knew she had to do in order to move forward and thanked her followers for allowing her to do so.