Carlos Santana has learned to forgive. During a recent interview with PEOPLE, the legendary guitarist, 75, discussed how two years of sexual abuse prevented him from having a childhood and how he eventually came to terms with his situation. “My son and I were talking about this yesterday, how acceptance and forgiveness are really spiritual,” he said. “I learned to look at everyone who ever went out of their way to hurt me, demean me or make me feel like less, like they’re 5 or 6 years old, and I’m able to look at them with understanding and compassion.”
The upcoming documentary Carlos is one of the first to capture the stories and experiences of Santana, whose abuse will be chronicled in the film. It will premiere on June 17 at the Tribeca Film Festival. Santana first spoke of his abuse during an interview with Rolling Stone back in 2000.
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Between the ages of 10 and 12, he claims he was abused “almost every day” in Mexico by a man the family befriended who would cross the border into Mexico and bring him toys and gifts. The man, he told The Guardian in 2014, was an American tourist. Having gained a new perspective on the situation, the musician says he can now grant compassion to his abuser. “For example, this person who abused me sexually, instead of sending him to hell forever, I visualized him like a child, and behind him there was a lot of light,” he told PEOPLE. “So I can send him to the light or send him to hell knowing that if I send him to hell, I’m going to go with him. But if I send him to the light, then I’m going to go with him also.”
He added, “There’s this saying, ‘Hurt people hurt people.’ It’s my pain. It did happen to me. But if you open your hands, and you let it go, then you don’t feel that anymore.” Additionally, Santana explained how despite feeling suffocated by fame in the past, he’s learned to enjoy the success it has brought him. “Now everything’s a fun time because there’s still a 7-year-old Carlos in me that looks at life like, ‘What are we going to get into today?’” he says. “I’m just starting, and everything has prepared me for this. According to the Rock & Roll Hall of Famer, he strives to give people hope and courage and adheres to his childhood motto: “Offer a heartfelt tug to the listener and validate their existence.”
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, you can contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.