American Idol alum Mandisa reveals she went through a “deep dark” stage of her life that ended up with her friends staging an intervention for her in her upcoming book Out of the Dark: My Journey Through the Shadows to Find God’s Joy. Mandisa, who placed fifth on season five of the show in 2016, shares her experience dealing with mental health struggles in a brief excerpt from the novel.
“Shortly after my low point, which I sometimes refer to as ‘the deep dark,’ I realized that if I were going to stick around, I would need to start working again to pay the bills. I reluctantly agreed to go on the Rock & Worship Roadshow Tour. It had been a long time since my band and I had been together, so we needed to rehearse. I didn’t want to be there, but I had no choice. I had not released any new music in three years, so we had performed these songs countless times. After a few hours of doing the bare minimum, I desperately wanted to get out of that rehearsal space. Since this was the first time I had left my house, I took advantage of being out and decided to trade in my recliner for the recliner seats at Regal Cinemas and treat myself to a movie,” she writes, per People.
Videos by PopCulture.com
Chapter 7 of the memoir continues: “By the time the second movie ended, I had been inside that theater for over four hours. When I walked out into the parking lot, I noticed something strange about my red Toyota Solara. I squinted my eyes. The light speckles all over the car were yellow sticky notes! As I got closer, I was able to read what they said: We love you. We miss you. Come back to us.”
“Some of the notes had scriptures written on them. When I looked up, I saw several of my friends getting out of their cars. They had been waiting for me for four hours! My friend Laura, who had organized the intervention, had gone to my house earlier and become convinced I was home but ignoring her incessant knocking,” she continued. “My offhanded mention of my movie plans to my keyboard player, Jon, became a clue to Inspector Laura as to my whereabouts. I later discovered that my friends had driven to several theaters in town until they found my car. They’d covered it with their sticky-note encouragements and then waited until the movie was over. They hadn’t expected me to watch two films!”
The Grammy Award-winning singer continued, explaining why she became angry at her friends for confronting her during her time of hurting. But she eventually came to a place of peace and appreciation for their help and kindness.
“Finally, after everyone had said their peace [sic], with my walls still up but not quite as formidable, I asked, ‘What do you want me to do?’” she writes. “They told me they wanted me to get counseling, and Dan had already found someone I could meet with. I agreed to it, maybe just to get them off my back, or maybe knowing I needed professional help. Either way, that uncomfortable, awkward, embarrassing alfresco meeting was a turning point. The darkness felt a little less dark. I could see a small flicker. Light was beginning to break through.”
