Days after revealing that she suffered a miscarriage earlier this month, Meghan McCain is sharing more information about her decision to go public with her story. The View co-host admitted on Instagram over the weekend that she "was petrified" to talk about her miscarriage at first.
McCain posted a photo of herself alongside husband Ben Domenech on Saturday, along with a quote from the film Rocky Balboa. The TV personality thanked supporters for standing with her after she shared her story, admitting that it wasn't easy for her.
"Thank you for so many beautiful and kind responses to my New York Times op-ed about my recent miscarriage," McCain wrote. "Ben and I are the luckiest, most incredibly blessed people in the world surrounded by love and support."
The daughter of the late Sen. John McCain wrote in her Instagram post that she was hopeful "by continuing to share grief and loss, and addressing these taboo subjects head on it will help people who have experienced the same to feel less alone."
"None of us are along in this," McCain went on to say in her Instagram caption. "I was petrified to share my story publicly but I never, ever let fear dictate my life choices."
She continued, "I will always take the leap, I will always roll the dice."
McCain gave her husband, Domenech, "who loves my wild heart," a shout out as well, adding how he "has never tried to change a single thing about [her], and continues to be the greatest source of strength, love and faith a woman could ask for."
On Friday, July 19, McCain published a op-ed in the New York Times revealing that she suffered a miscarriage "a few weeks ago." The loss occurred before a cover shoot for the Times' magazine, The View star said. She wrote in her piece that moments before cameras started snapping pictures of her and her co-stars, her doctor told her she was miscarrying.
McCain admitted that holding it together during the shoot was no easy feat.
"I should have been proud," she wrote of the photo shoot, which featured her co-stars. "But inside, I was dying. Inside, my baby is dying."
Initially, she wrote, McCain planned to keep her miscarriage to herself. She decided to share after taking a break from The View for the July 4th holidays, which she said sparked gossip online. McCain wrote that she also hoped to stand side-by-side with other women struggling with the same thing by coming forward.
"I am not hiding anymore. My miscarriage was a horrendous experience and I would not wish it upon anyone," she wrote.
McCain continued, "I have asked the same questions every mother asks who loves and loses a child: Why?"
The public figure claimed she "blamed" herself for the miscarriage initially. She said she feared her line of work, or lifestyle, contributed to the loss, but later admitted she knew she was not to blame.
"Perhaps it was wrong of me to choose to be a professional woman, working in a high-pressure, high-visibility, high-stress field, still bearing the burden of the recent loss of my father and facing on top of that the arrows that come with public life," McCain wrote.
"This is not a complaint," she continued. "This is reality. I blamed my age, I blamed my personality. I blamed everything and anything a person could think of, and what followed was a deep opening of shame."
In the end, McCain noted that while she doesn't "understand" why the miscarriage happened, she knows she's not to blame.
"I have love for all the women who, like me, were briefly in the sisterhood of motherhood, hoping, praying and nursing joy within us, until the day the joy was over," she wrote.
Fans have long speculated about McCain getting pregnant. Each time she's absent from The View rumors crop up that she's expecting. In June 2018, she admitted that she felt pressured by her mom to have children before her father's death. Cindy McCain reportedly hoped her daughter would have a baby before her dad succumbed to his cancer PEOPLE reported.0comments
"She has never asked me before and then all the sudden she brings it up all the time," McCain said at the time, adding how it was both "hilarious and uncomfortable."
At the time, McCain claimed she and her husband were "not quite there yet."