Jill Duggar Reveals Troubles in Her Marriage to Derick Dillard

Jill Duggar Dillard is opening up and revealing that her marriage to Derick Dillard has not been without some troubles. Speaking to PEOPLE ahead of the release of the couple’s tell-all book, Counting the Cost, Jill shared that being on reality TV with her family had a negative impact on her marriage. “It caused a lot of frustration in our marriage,” she confessed. “Especially early on, where he would feel a certain way about filming something. I’d be like, ‘I hear you, I feel you, I also don’t want to do whatever it is they’re asking us to do either. But we have to.’”

The Duggar family spent many years as a staple of TLC’s programming with the show 19 Kids and Counting and its spin-off Counting On. However, as they grew together, Jill and Derick realized that the cameras and obligations were bad for their relationship. “Whenever we were at odds with what her dad thought we should be doing with filming, he would say things that would be very damaging,” Derick claimed, laying much of the blame on Jill’s father, Jim Bob. “He would weaponize the relationship and say, ‘Is this you Jill, or is this you, Derek? Are you leading your wife astray and doing things that are not supportive of marriage?’ And I think that was a red flag.”

Eventually, Jill says, she had to decide between her parents and her family with Derick. “I saw how deeply we were in an argument one time, and I was like, ‘Whoa, this is not okay,’” she recalled of fights between one another and with her father. “When I saw how it was affecting our marriage, I think that was another wake-up call for me. It was like, okay, we need to either fight this battle together, or it’s going to rip us apart. So yeah, we had to join forces at that point.”

These days, Jill and Derick are raising their three sons in a home on the border of Arkansas and Oklahoma. While they’ve moved out of the spotlight, they are not immune to the nervousness that comes from preparing to share personal aspects of their lives with the world through their new book. “I know there will be nay-sayers, but I feel called to do this,” Jill said of writing Counting the Cost. “We really wanted to tell our story for my siblings, because some of them are going to face similar challenges, if they haven’t already, to what I’ve faced.”

Jill also shared how their faith has evolved since leaving the IBLP — the religious organization she was raised under — a few years ago. “Therapy was the gift we didn’t know we needed,” she told PEOPLE. “We initially went into it with the goal of re-establishing a relationship with my parents, but once we go there, the therapist was like, ‘I think we maybe need to do a little more processing, a little more sorting out here. You guys need to figure out who you are.’ Which was so wise. It helped us so much.”

Notably, Jim Bob and wife Michelle Duggar issued a statement to PEOPLE in response to a request for comment on Jill and Derick’s comments. “We love all of our children very much. As with any family, few things are more painful than conflicts or problems among those you love,” they said. “We do not believe the best way to resolve conflicts, facilitate forgiveness and reconciliation, or to communicate through difficulties is through the media or in a public forum so we will not comment.”