Kids can be very sweet and unbearably adorable but, if you don’t have any yourself yet, this dad’s poop explosion story just might make you think twice about it.
Jesse Mab-Phea Hill recounted the story on his Facebook page and shared pictures of the unfortunate incident, as reported by the NY Post.
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“As I’m going upstairs I smell something foul. I scan the basement from the stairs thinking the dogs dropped a deuce before I let them outside. I see nothing….. And then my blood runs cold when I realize the stink is coming from the upper floor,” Hill wrote.
He then said he began “screaming” as ran up the stairs to his toddler daughter’s room. Once at the top floor, Hill found her, Alessandra, “standing at the baby gate, butt naked, holding her diaper, covered head to toe in her own crap.”
Baffled, Hill surveyed the situation and ultimately realized the first thing he had to do was get his daughter in the bathtub.
“The whole time she’s in the tub she tries to touch me with her s— covered hands and I scream like a pre-pubecent girl and dodge her. After 20 minutes I pick all the crap out of her hair, bottom of her feet and everywhere in between,” Hill hilariously recalled.
Next, it was time to assess the damage in Alessandra’s bedroom, which he mentioned he had not even looked at before now.
“I walk in her room slowly and am greeted with a scene straight out of a German fetish dream. Everything on the right side of the room is covered in steaming baby crap,” Hill explained. “The walls, the toys, the windows, the curtains, the play bench, the floor, the baby piano, my hopes, all covered in crap. It looked like a real category 5 s— storm blew thru her room. Hurricane S—rina if you will. I have no clue where to start.”
Finally, Hill realized he had to call his wife for help, because it was just all too overwhelming to handle on his own. The two of them tackled the mess but to nearly no avail.
“I won’t get into anymore graphic details but 2 rolls of paper towels, 5 stolen gym towels, 1 bottle of pinesol, 1 bottle of bleach, 1 big bag of crap covered toys and 2 1/2 hours later her room still smells like a dumpster fire,” Hill joked.
Finally, the defeated dad quipped, “I swear I do everything I can to show these kids I love them but they turn on me when I least expect it. Alessandra is my favorite daughter but my 2nd favorite kid right now,” and then added a hashtag that read “kids are the worst.”
