‘Very Cavallari’: Kristin Cavallari Breaks Down Over Brother’s Death in Husband Jay Cutler’s Arms

Three years after Kristin Cavallari‘s brother unexpectedly died after a car crash, the reality TV personality is still struggling to come to terms with his unexpected passing.

In a sneak peek of this week’s new episode of Very Cavallari, which you can watch here, the Uncommon James founder opened up to husband Jay Cutler about seeing an old friend in Laguna Beach during a recent trip to California.

“It was kind of hard being in Laguna right now,” she told Cutler in the E! network clip. Her trip, which was to launch the Uncommon James pop-up shop in Los Angeles, coincided with the three-year anniversary of Mike’s death. Michael Cavallari was found dead on December 10, 2015, nearly two weeks after he had gone missing, having died of hypothermia following a car crash. He was 30 years old.

“I feel like the first few years, it’s almost like you’re still in shock and you don’t really accept it,” she explained. “Where the three-year mark, it’s like, ‘Hang on a second, I actually haven’t seen him or talked to him in a really long time.’ And it’s starting to settle in.”

She said talking about it with her and Mike’s mutual friend while in Laguna Beach brought up difficult memories for her. “I’ve felt like I’ve been, like, OK. You know, I’ve accepted what happened and everything. But then talking with Brittany, it just hit me,” she said. “And I was like, ‘F—. Maybe I’m not OK.’”

During her trip to Los Angeles, Cavallari met up with an old high school friend, Brittany Field, who had known Mike even before she met Cavallari.

Cutler, who has been with Cavallari for nearly 10 years, which includes five years of marriage, encouraged his wife to keep her head up. “You’ve just gotta concentrate on the good stuff. He’s better now,” he said, alluding to the good memories Cavallari and Mike shared in Laguna Beach. In last Sunday’s episode, Cavallari explained that Mike became unhappy in the later years of his life.

“Let me know what you need from me,” Cutler said. “I’m here.”

Cavallari thanked him and left the room to “go do a little bit more work.” But moments later, Cutler found her standing in the hallway of their Nashville home in tears.

The clip ends with Cutler embracing his crying wife following the tough discussion.

While the Very Cavallari footage is a few months old at this point, Cavallari took to social media in November to memorialize her brother via a black-and-white Instagram photo of the two of them.

“Home from a busy morning and thinking of my brother. Today is the 3 year anniversary of his passing and I think this year is one of the hardest- as it’s real now. He’s not coming back and the shock is finally gone,” Cavallari wrote. “Today and every single day, Mikey, we miss you.”

She told Us Weekly in 2016 that she found strength in her children (6-year-old Camden, 4-year-old Jaxon and 3-year-old Saylor) to carry on.

“You can’t just stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself. You gotta get up,” she said at the time. “You have other lives you have to take care of. You have to put food on the table and get them dressed and off to school and everything. So yeah, you can’t just feel sorry for yourself.”

Photo credit: Instagram / @kristincavallari