‘The Bachelorette’ Alum Colton Underwood Breaks Down on ‘Men Tell All’ Special

In a sneak peek at the upcoming Bachelorette: Men Tell All special, Colton Underwood breaks down in tears discussing his virginity.

Underwood, 26 revealed that he was still a virgin in the midst of the show’s most recent season. It was not long after that that he was sent home, and contestant Becca Kufrin moved on with other suitors. However, PEOPLE has published a teaser for Monday night’s Men Tell All special, showing that Underwood is still very emotional about his big revelation.

“How difficult was that to essentially broadcast — not just talk about, but you knew that you were broadcasting this to not just Becca, but to everybody?” host Chris Harrison asks him.

“I think that’s something that for me was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life,” Underwood says bluntly. “I’ve gone through a lot with that. It’s hard for me to even talk about it right now. But growing up, being an athlete, it’s something that I was ashamed of because it was so openly talked about in our community.”

Underwood is a professional football player, and currently a free agent.

“So, I had made up a lot of lies, and I hid it, he continued. “I was ashamed of it.”

Skipping forward, Underwood says that the show had really presented him with an opportunity to be more honest with the world about himself.

“I wasn’t true to who I was, and I feel like people think I’m less of a man because of that,” he says. The crowd gives a collective, sympathetic “aww” at that point. “And that’s the hardest thing for me to hear,” Underwood says.

The Bachelorette: Men Tell All special airs on Monday night at 8 p.m. ET on ABC. The following week marks the big season finale, and then Underwood will return along with other contestants for the Bachelor in Paradise.

Before filming the special, Underwood spoke with PEOPLE about his secret as well.

“I was so happy that I was able to talk about something I never wanted to share with anybody,” he said. “The show allowed me to be true to who I am and it allowed me to grow as a person. I couldn’t be more appreciative of that.”

He also assured them that his virginity does not mean that he is inexperienced, nor that he has lived less of his life.

“Being a virgin doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time,” he pointed out. “It doesn’t mean you can’t be passionate and romantic and sexual still in your relationship.”