Coming into Temptation Island with her boyfriend of almost five years, Rick Fleur, there was no way Ashley Goldson would have imagined things going sideways so quickly. After getting into her own head with doubts about Rick’s intentions, Ashley G. shocked herself and viewers when she slept with single KB on one of the first nights.
It was a decision she definitely didn’t take lightly afterwards, she told PopCulture.com ahead of Thursday’s all-new episode of the USA Network show. After “losing control of [her] ability to no longer be tempted,” Ashley admitted she was a wreck following her night with KB.
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“I’m in a very emotional state,” she explained of her mindset the next day. “I feel like I’ve thrown away my entire relationship, and at that point I’m overwhelmed.”
Fears that her family would be “ashamed” of her and that Rick would think she brought them to Temptation Island just to cheat were overwhelming.
“In that moment, I’m thinking [Rick’s] going to hate me and he’s not going to forgive me. I f—ed up,” she told PopCulture.com. “I think after that point, I was very, very, extremely emotional.”
Watching that moment back with the rest of the world wasn’t going to be easy, but Ashley said she’s done a lot of work on her self-worth and ability to forgive herself since the night with KB went down.
“I learned to forgive myself … to be able to hold myself accountable by understanding the things that I’ve done wrong, but going the extra mile and forgiving myself for what I’ve done wrong,” she explained of her growth since filming. “Sometimes you f— up, but you have to own it, understand it, forgive yourself and let go.”
While Ashley can’t reveal what happens between her and Rick at the final bonfire, she teased, “I was put through a lot of hurt, but I don’t want to be a victim and I didn’t understand my self-worth until I went on Temptation. Island.”
That being said, she would change a few things about her time on the island if given the opportunity to do it all again: “I would do it again, but I think I would put up a lot more resistance and wait around a lot longer to see what was going to happen on Rick’s end and not make really big assumption,” she said.
Temptation Island airs Thursdays at 10 p.m. ET on USA.
Photo credit: USA