Patton Oswalt honored his late wife, Michelle McNamara, with a touching tribute on the one-year anniversary of her death.
On April 21, 2016, Oswalt lost his wife of 11 years, who was 46 at the time. He released a statement earlier this year that reveals she passed away due to a combination of drugs in her system along with a health condition they did not know she had.
The couple had one child together, 8-year-old daughter Alice.
Oswalt took to Facebook on Friday to commemorate the anniversary and explain how he plans on moving forward.
"I'm one year into this new life -- one I never even imagined, and I can imagine some pretty pessimistic and dark contingencies, some stomach-freezing 'what ifs.' But not this one. This one had such a flat, un-poetic immediacy," he wrote. "The world gazes at you like a hungry but indifferent reptile when you're widowed."
He continued, "Last night I took off my wedding ring. I couldn't bear removing it since April 21st, 2016. But now it felt obscene. That anonymous poem about the man mourning his dead lover for a year and a day, for craving a kiss from her 'clay cold lips.' I was inviting more darkness. Removing the ring was removing the last symbol of denial of who I was now, and what my life is, and what my responsibilities are. But it's not fatal."
The actor said he placed his wedding ring in a memory box the couple made to store all their happy memories, including their movie tickets and trinkets from their world travels.
"Michelle brought me nothing but happiness. You see it in our faces, that picture between the two pics of the box," he wrote. "That was taken literally a month after we started going out. Look at us. We knew this was it. So the ring goes with the happy stuff."
He explained that he was not going to take the anniversary of her death and turn it into a “dark ritual.”
Instead, he said, "I'm gonna pick Alice up at school later. She wants to go to a pet store and buy "worms that will grow into beetles." She's becoming a cool bug girl and Michelle would have thought that was hilarious (Michelle HATED insects). Then we'll go get ice cream. Or go home and play a game. I'm her dad. I want to make her days fun."
Oswalt also opened up about how he has coped during his first year without his wife, writing, "I plan things better. I'm more patient. I still sleep badly, and my weight and health need some work, but that's combat damage. There's got to be a way to fix those without being shitty to friends and strangers who are struggling with chaos. I'll try."
He ended the emotional message with, "One year in. Another year starting. It's awful, but it's not fatal."0comments
Our thoughts are with Oswalt and his daughter during this difficult time.
This article first appeared on Womanista.com