Mac Miller Once Addressed Overdosing, Said It ‘Isn’t Cool’

Mac Miller often discussed his struggles with addiction and drug use before his death from an apparent overdose on Friday. In one interview, he said there was nothing romantic about overdosing, adding it “isn’t cool.”

The Fader released a documentary about Miller’s life in 2016, titled Stopped Making Excuses. In it, he said he would never be able to stop using drugs, but hoped to avoid overdosing.

“I get f—ed up, let’s keep it real. I get super f—ed up, still, all the time,” Miller said in an interview included in the documentary, notes PEOPLE. “That will never stop. But I’m in control of my life. I’m not f—ed up right now. I’m chillin.’”

Miller continued, “I’d rather be the corny white rapper than the drugged-out mess that can’t even get out of his house. Overdosing is just not cool. There’s no legendary romance. You don’t go down in history because you overdosed. You just die.”

The rapper also said he started using harder drugs because he needed something “a little more numbing” than marijuana.

“I think that’s what really sparked me doing other drugs because I hate being sober. I wanted a drug to do,” Miller said.

Earlier in his career, Miller admitted to using lean, an addictive mix of promethazine and codeine, for his depression.

“I love lean; it’s great. I was not happy and I was on lean very heavy [during the Macadelic tour.] I was so f–ed up all the time it was bad. My friends couldn’t even look at me the same. I was lost,” Miller told Complex in 2013.

As his fame grew though, Miller said he was trying to get sober. In a 2015 interview with Billboard, he said he was “definitely way healthier” than he was when he recorded the mixtape Faces.

“I’m not completely sober, but I’m way better than I was at that point,” Miller explained at the time. “I was afraid of what my life had become. But once you just breathe and relax, you come to terms with it. This is my life, I enjoy it, and it’s OK that I enjoy it. It’s OK that I’m young and rich. Let’s have fun. You’ve got to look in the mirror and tell yourself to stop being a little b–: ‘OK, dude, you’re 23 and this is your f– life. Go out there and do it, stop hiding,’ because that was me before.”

Miller’s continued drug use reportedly played a role in his break-up with singer Ariana Grande, who later described their two-year relationship as “toxic.” Just days after the break-up, Miller crashed his SUV and was arrested for DUI.

In August, around the time his final album Swimming came out, Miller told Rolling Stone he did not consider himself a drug addict. However, the DUI did not help his reputation.

“If a bunch of people think I am a huge drug addict, OK. Cool. What can I really do? Go talk to all those people and be like ‘Naw man, it’s really not that simple?’ Have I done drugs? Yeah. But am I a drug addict? No,” he told Rolling Stone.

Miller died on Friday at age 26. He was found at around noon at his home in California.

Photo credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Coachella