This Woman's 'Fat Girl' Friend Photo Says What Everyone Needs to Hear About Body Image

There's a stereotype around being the 'fat girl' in a friendship group. She's the one who sits on [...]

By Torie Jochims

There's a stereotype around being the "fat girl" in a friendship group. She's the one who sits on the sidelines and never joins in. She's the one perpetually single and sits silently while all her friends discuss their love life because god forbid, if she actually find a boyfriend, she would never be comfortable naked or in the bedroom. She's the insecure one, the one constantly complaining about her body and talking about diets. I couldn't call bullshit more on this stereotype. Since the age of 11, I have always been the "fat" friend but I have never been THAT girl. Even with all my insecurities around my scars, and my body in general, I was never the girl who sat inside - I refused to because of my pride and ego and my surgeries never let me be the person who missed out on life. The difference between now and then is that there's no hesitation, there are no second thoughts and when my friend suggested jumping in the Fjord, I was all "Hell yeah!". Before I would have said yes reluctantly, spent the time hiding as much of my body as possible until the last moment, definitely worn a top and definitely wouldn't have taken photos, let alone been in them. Now, I'm the one suggesting photos, I was the first to whip off my top and the thought that my body was different wasn't there. The fact that I know many girls, fat or skinny, would miss out on opportunities like this is what fuels my body positivity. Body positivity isn't about being able to take underwear selfies, it's about not letting your underwear or your swimsuit be the reason you aren't taking part. And ultimately when you are around the right people, you won't EVER feel like the "fat friend". I don't look at these pictures and see me as the odd one out. I look at the pictures and see the memories and the three bodies that we had fun in! #ScarredNotScared Swipe for a video of me high pitch screaming as I jump in!

A post shared by Michelle Elman (@mindsetforlifeltd) on

As a pre-teen, now 23-year-old body confidence coach Michelle Elman noticed a very distinct pattern in her friendships - she had become the "fat friend."

When she was younger, Elman underwent numerous surgeries to deal with a brain tumor, a punctured intestine, and several other intense medical issues which left her body scarred and the recovery sent her weight spiraling out of control.

Through her teen years, Elman was the girl who couldn't fit into her slimmer friends' clothing and couldn't go along on shopping trips where stores didn't carry her size. Thankfully she grew out of the mentality that made those facts feel like a failure, but just last year she was confronted with a situation that brought all those negative feelings back.

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According to Cosmopolitan, when Elman developed a crush on a guy who used to be interested in her friend, things got a little dark on the friendship front. She confided in her friend about the crush and was taken aback when her supposed friend suggested that because of her size, Elman didn't deserve her crush's attention or affection.

For obvious reasons, that "friendship" dissolved shortly thereafter, but the whole issue brought to light a much more important point about body love in general for Elman.

"Body positivity at its best is not caring about what your body looks like and not letting your body be the reason to stop you from living your life," Elman says.

This mentality was a huge part in the decision for Elman to join her friends - of different sizes - in a spontaneous mission to jump off a dock into freezing water. The snaps and video clips from the day are accompanied by a poignant caption from Elman about what it means to be the "fat friend."

"There's a stereotype around being the "fat girl" in a friendship group. She's the one who sits on the sidelines and never joins in. She's the one perpetually single and sits silently while all her friends discuss their love life because god forbid, if she actually find a boyfriend, she would never be comfortable naked or in the bedroom. She's the insecure one, the one constantly complaining about her body and talking about diets. I couldn't call bullshit more on this stereotype. Since the age of 11, I have always been the "fat" friend but I have never been THAT girl," Elman writes. "The fact that I know many girls, fat or skinny, would miss out on opportunities like this is what fuels my body positivity. Body positivity isn't about being able to take underwear selfies, it's about not letting your underwear or your swimsuit be the reason you aren't taking part."

We admire Elman's courage and her acceptance of her body in all circumstances, and her message is one women around the world could stand to internalize. After all, there's too much life out there to be lived to let something silly like a swimsuit size get in the way of an unforgettable memory.

If you're looking for something to fuel your body love, check out our Womanista Approved list of bralettes that actually work for women of all sizes.

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