Meghan Markle's mother Doria Ragland recalled the heartbreak she felt when her daughter told her about her suicidal thoughts. In the second batch of Harry & Meghan episodes, Prince Harry said he was also "devastated" when Markle told him. Markle publicly spoke about suicide ideation during the couple's interview with Oprah Winfrey in March 2021.
"I remember her telling me that – she had wanted to take her own life," Ragland said in the Netflix documentary series, via Us Weekly. "And that really broke my heart. Because I knew – well, I knew that it was bad."
Ragland said she did not know exactly what pressures her daughter was facing in the U.K., but she understood that there were "vultures" picking away at Markle's spirit. "That she would actually think of not wanting to be here," Ragland said. "That's not an easy one for a mom to hear. And I can't protect her. H can't protect her."
Harry knew Markle was struggling, as he was as well. But he "never thought" it would go as far as Markle thinking about taking her own life. "And the fact that it got to that stage, I felt angry and ashamed," Harry, 38, said. "I didn't deal with it particularly well. I dealt with it as institutional Harry, as opposed to husband Harry."
The Duke of Sussex's first reaction was to think about how this would affect their roles as royal family members because that is how he was trained to think, he said. "I hate myself for it. What she needed from me was so much more than I was able to give," Harry explained.
"I was like, 'All of this will stop if I'm not here,'" Markle recalled thinking. "And that was the scariest thing about it. It was such clear thinking."
Markle, 41, and Harry's interview with Winfrey included several shocking revelations, but one of the most stunning was Markle's discussion of suicidal thoughts while she was still a working member of the royal family. "I didn't want to be alive anymore," Markle explained in March 2021. "I was ashamed to admit it to Harry but I knew if I didn't say it, I would do it. I just didn't want to be alive anymore. It was clear, it was real, it was frightening, and it was a constant thought."
In another portion of Harry & Meghan's second group of episodes, Harry said he blamed the media harassment for the miscarriage Markle suffered in 2020. "I believe my wife suffered a miscarriage because of what The [Daily Mail] did. I watched the whole thing," Harry said, referring to the constant reporting on Markle's estranged father, Thomas Markle. "Now, do we absolutely know that the miscarriage was caused by that? Of course, we don't. But bearing in mind the stress that caused, the lack of sleep, and the timing of the pregnancy, how many weeks in she was. I can say from what I saw that miscarriage was created by what they were trying to do to her." All six episodes of Harry & Meghan are now available on Netflix.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. The previous Lifeline phone number (1-800-273-8255) will always remain available.