Kristoff St. John’s Fiancee Reflects on His Death: ‘Heart Bleeds in Pain’

Kristoff St. John’s fiancée, Kseniya Mikhaleva, is still mourning following the sudden loss of the Young and the Restless actor on Sunday.

On Wednesday, Mikhaleva took to her Instagram Stories to open up about the pain she is experiencing following St. John’s sudden death, sharing a short poem speaking of loss overlaid on a photo of a woman crying black tears.

“My hands they shake with sorrow, My heart it bleeds with pain, My soul forever lingers, Wishing you could have stayed,” the short poem read.

Mikhaleva, who said that she last spoke to St. John on Saturday, one day before his death, also shared a photo of a gift St. John had given her prior to his death: interlocking puzzle piece charms reading “Cupcake” and “Princess.”

“You gave me this to save, and I will save it,” she captioned the image, adding a broken heart emoji and a crying emoji.

St. John had popped the question to Mikhaleva in September, just five months before he was found unconscious and unresponsive in his San Fernando Valley home by a friend on Sunday, Feb. 3. He was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics who arrived shortly after.

The actor’s ex-wife, Mia St. John had seemingly confirmed his death just hours before news broke with a since-deleted tweet mentioning their son. The death of the former couple’s son led St. John to struggle with mental health issues of his own, and at one point he was hospitalized after undergoing a mental health evaluation. According to reports, the actor had voluntarily checked himself into UCLA Medical Center in January for struggles with depression, and his final tweet before his death, a retweet, referenced the pain he was still experiencing.

“Grieving the loss of a child is a process. It begins on the day your child passes, and ends the day the parent joins them,” the tweet read.

St. John’s cause of death has since been deferred by the Los Angeles County Coroner pending an “additional investigation.” An autopsy, which was completed just one day after his death, was reported to have offered “little insight” into the manner of his death.