Jennette McCurdy Opens up About Relationship With ‘iCarly’ Co-Star Miranda Cosgrove

Jennette McCurdy has expressed gratitude for her friendship with iCarly co-star Miranda Cosgrove. McCurdy recently appeared on Red Table Talk to discuss her new memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died, in which she recounts the abuse she suffered from her late mother, Debra McCurdy. In the memoir, she also addressed her experience acting on Nickelodeon shows and elaborated on her distressing experiences as a child star in the episode. McCurdy noted that her friendship with Cosgrove, who portrayed the titular “Carly,” was a source of “comfort” for her in those years.

“I’m very grateful for that friendship, it did provide me a lot of comfort in those really challenging years,” she told Red Table Talk hosts Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith, Adrienne Banfield-Norris and therapist Kelly McDaniel (beginning at 27:10-27:13). “My relationship with Miranda was hugely healing to my concept of women, and my mom was always saying, ‘Men will never really know you, and they’ll hurt you, but women will know you deeply, and then they’ll hurt you. You tell me which is worse.’” 

“These are the thoughts that I hear about women, not to mention my very complicated relationship with my mom, and then seeing her relationship with her mom on top of it. And I have three brothers, who I love, and I felt this sort of trust toward boys that I didn’t feel toward girls, very young. And Miranda helped me to heal that relationship, but it is something that I still struggle with.” In August, Cosgrove told The New York Times about McCurdy, “When you’re young, you’re so in your own head. You can’t imagine that people around you are having much harder struggles.” She added, “You don’t expect things like that from the person in the room who’s making everyone laugh.” 

During her appearance on Sept. 7’s Red Table Talk, McCurdy also spoke candidly about being abused by her mother and why she ultimately abandoned any attempts at forgiveness. “I worked toward forgiveness for a really long time,” McCurdy said. “And my therapist said to me one day, ‘What if you don’t have to work toward forgiveness?’ And I wept, and I knew that that’s what I needed to hear because I had been trying to find a way to still honor my mom… I was still trying to live for her.” She added, “I was still trying to find a way to make it all mean something. Because it had to because it was her. And that was exactly what I needed to hear. It was hugely emotional, but my God, did it help.”