Jana Kramer Speaks up About Past Domestic Violence

Country singer and actress, Jana Kramer is getting candid about her past experiences with domestic violence, but the 33-year-old was never really that open when it came to the horrific chapter in her life.

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In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE during her performance at the Windy City Smokeout Festival in Chicago earlier this month, Kramer spoke up about surviving domestic violence in hopes other women understand they’re not alone.

Though she waited nearly a decade to share her secret with others, she says she was scared to tell her story despite her first husband was serving time in prison for attempted murder after abusing her.

“I was afraid to tell my story,” Kramer said. “There were about 10 years that I didn’t speak about it because I was afraid people would judge me, or they would try to turn it around. That’s how a lot of women are in abusive relationships feel — that it’s their fault.”

Last winter, she went into detail for the first time about her relationship with then husband, Michael Gambino and the domestic abuse she suffered.

“I met Mike when I was 19 at a Coffee Bean in L.A. He was a smooth-talker, very charming, intriguing and obviously older,” she told PEOPLE exclusively. “At the time, I liked that. I felt protected.”

Almost 20 years her senior, Gambino developed an abusive routine that led the aspiring star to sleep in her car or hide in the bushes until he grew calm. With a frequent jealousy and a fickle anger, Kramer told the publication at the time that he would come home during the mid-morning hours, pick her up out of bed and “throw” her to the ground, yelling and hitting her. The next morning, he would act as if nothing ever happened.

Kramer hid the bruises with makeup and kept it hidden from family and friends. Since opening up though last year, the 33-year-old says she is amazed at how others are also coming forward.

More: Jana Kramer’s Career Takes a Different Direction After Leaving Nashville

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“There are so many women who’ve said, ‘Thank you for coming out and talking about your story, you’re a survivor,’ and they share their stories,” she said. “[Some say], ‘This is my first time sharing,’ or ‘You’re giving a voice to something that shouldn’t be held inside, because that’s not going to help you grow in the future.”

But Kramer goes on to say that whether it’s one or 20 people, it’s “just really nice” that she’s given so many women the opportunity to share their voice.

“To be around to share it is a cool thing,” she said.

If anyone understands these women, Kramer certainly does. As a mother, daughter and now advocate, Kramer told PEOPLE last year that each time Gambino was abusive, she could feel her self-confidence plummet and see no way out.

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However, things escalated to a breaking point in 2005 when he choked her into unconsciousness and left her bleeding on the sidewalk outside their Los Angeles home. It was a moment Kramer says had her praying to God that very night, saying, “Please, just take me away, I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Gambino was found convicted of attempted murder and sentenced to six years in prison. Though he was released in 2010, he took his own life just two years later. In an interview with Good Morning America, that she went through a slew of emotions upon hearing the news.

“I felt bad because my first feeling was relief that he was gone,” she said on the ABC morning show. “That I didn’t have to worry about him anymore.”

During her time on Dancing With the Stars, Kramer broke down during a segment confessing she has tried to stay strong for her little one.

“I never want my daughter to ever go through the things I went through, or question that she’s not good enough,” she said. “And I want my daughter to know that no man should ever put their hands on her. Because she’s beautiful.”

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While she never had children with Gambino, Kramer did have a daughter, Jolie, with former NFL tight end, Mike Caussin, from whom she is now separated. With her only child growing up and Kramer finally finding her voice, she is now ready to take on the conversation and pour her heart into it by helping however she can.

PEOPLE reports Kramer teamed up with Little Black Dress Wines, a collaborative effort with Dress for Success, and connected with a fan overcoming similar hardships. For the duration of the campaign, Kramer and LBD Wines will not only partake in fundraising and awareness efforts through “a PSA, auction, engagement with Dress for Success clients,” but they will also be active in social media outreach encouraging followers to donate $20 to the non-profit’s Open Door Project. 

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Last winter, Kramer told the publication she was eager to use her experience and help other abused women and she is certainly keeping her promise, saying, “[I was so] embarrassed and afraid no one will love me because of my past, but I’m ready to put it out there now.”

At Chicago’s Windy City Smokeout this month, Kramer told PEOPLE that once she found out about the organizations LBD had partnered with, she knew it was kismet.

“I was really excited about the opportunities I could have with them, not just posting wine pictures on Instagram … it’s so much more than that,” she said. “And Dress for Success is all about empowering women, especially women that need clothes to be able to go to find jobs and again to lift women up, I think that’s such a powerful statement.”

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When Kramer spoke to PEOPLE last year, she said, “If I can help one person, I’ll be thankful for what happened – and I can move forward.”

The single mom might very well be on her way. This week she told the publication that when she met domestic violence victim, Keisha, she felt a personal connection to her because she was also a survivor.

“I got to hear her story and the confidence that she now has,” Kramer said. “Knowing she had Dress for Success to help her find that strength is really, really powerful. And she looked beautiful! She’s really happy and in a great place. It’s really great to see women help other women.”

If you or someone you know needs help and is a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE or go to thehotline.org.

Photo credit: Getty / John Shearer / WireImage