‘Big Bang Theory’ Star Mayim Bialik Says Motherhood Should Not Be a Competition

Big Bang Theory actress Mayim Bialik is tired of moms competing with each other.

The 42-year-old mom of two took to her video-blog to encourage moms to be kinder to one another on Thursday.

Bialik said that after she gave birth to her first child, now-12-year-old son Miles, she attended a local mom’s group and “instantly felt out of place.” Needless to say, the meeting did not go well. In fact, it was her last.

“I used cloth diapers. I didn’t use pacifiers or bottles,” Bialik said. “I didn’t have fancy clothes and neither did my baby. I didn’t have a manicure. I mean, I barely had time to shower. How was I gonna have time to get a manicure?”

Bialik impersonated the moms in the group, who she said asked questions like, “Why does my baby want to be held so much?” and “How can I get a 3-week-old baby to sleep through the night?”

She said the moms were encouraged to brag about things like the speed of their labor and “how precocious their babies were with pooping, rolling over, sitting up, smiling.”

“Everything was a competition,” she said. “There were not my people. I left in tears.”

“Moms are so competitive! Why is that?” Bialik asked. “Is it because we’re just catty and combative by nature? Is it because we’re bored and we have nothing better to do?”

Bialik offered her own theory that has to do with her generation being the first raised “after the revolutionary turmoil of the women’s movement” and the first that “was constitutionally raised to believe that we can and should do it all.” She said these beliefs prepared women to compete in the workplace.

“So, when this generation became mothers and removed ourselves from the career world, we took that competitive drive and we seem to have superimposed it on our lives as mothers,” she said.

Bialik added that she would like moms to find “more meaningful things to connect about as a society and especially as moms” and for women to support each other more.

“Let’s get back to a model of camaraderie that reduces competition, fosters friendship and empathy and increases the success of a society that is built on the foundation principles of woman-to-woman support, which has sustained our species for so long, so well,” she said. “We can only do this together.”

In October, Bialik issued two apologies for controversial remarks published in her New York Times op-ed that some said blamed victims alleging Harvey Weinstein of sexual assault.

In the piece, Bialik says that she was never targeted by sexual predators because of the way she looks.

The actress drew heavy criticism from many in the Hollywood community including stars like Patricia Arquette, Emily Ratajkowski and Gabrielle Union. Bialik found it necessary to clarify her position on the issue.

it has become clear to me that there are people who think that I either implied or overtly stated that you can be protected from assault because of the clothing that you wear or the behavior that you exhibit,” she said.

“That is absolutely not what my intention was, and I think that it is safe for me to start this conversation by saying there is no way to avoid being the victim of assault by what you wear or the way you behave,” she continued.

“I really do regret that this became what it became, because literally, I was trying to speak about a very specific experience I had in a very specific industry – I was not looking to speak about assault and rape in general,” Bialik said.

With the backlash continuing later that week, Bialik posted another apology via Instagram note, writing, “I want to address my op-ed in the NY Times and the reaction to it. Let me say clearly and explicitly that I am very sorry. What you wear and how you behave does not provide any protection from assault, nor does the way you dress or act in any way make you responsible for being assaulted; you are never responsible for such a thing.”

The note went on to praise the women who have spoken out and shared their personal experiences.

“I am truly sorry for causing so much pain, and I hope you can forgive me,” she added.