DeMario Jackson Reveals He Had Suicidal Thoughts Amid ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ Scandal

DeMario Jackson says he has “been through hell” over the last two months, from the time he was accused of misconduct filming Bachelor in Paradise to the airing of the reality dating show.

Though the controversial contestant says he finally feels “vindicated” after Monday night’s season premiere — a show during which ABC ran limited footage surrounding the incident — his life since exiting the program has been emotional.

When production of the dating show was temporarily halted while Warner Bros. investigated Jackson’s alleged sexual misconduct with contestant Corinne Olympios, the reality cast member says he was “heartbroken, angry and depressed,” even suicidal.

“I never thought, ‘Oh, I’m gonna kill myself,’ but it crossed my mind,” Jackson admitted to Entertainment Tonight. “I remember just talking to my mom, like, ‘My life’s over. Like, I don’t even want to live anymore.’ And she, like, lost it.”

Jackson says he visited a therapist and lost 25 pounds due to the stress of the incident. Aside from his own reputation being smeared, the former Bachelorette contestant says his family has also taken harsh criticism.

“I signed up for this reality,” Jackson explained. “I feel guilty, because my mom didn’t sign up for this, and she’s been getting harassed, people tweeting at her, on her Instagram saying, ‘Your son’s a rapist.’ ”

Jackson revealed that his grandmother was also contacted by the press for comments on the scandal.

“That was the part I was most sad about. I feel like I created this for my family, in a sense, by being a little reckless,” Jackson admitted.

In Monday’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise, ABC showed footage of Jackson and Olympios “mingling” and cuddling up in the pool wearing street clothes. The scene then cut to the following day, when both contestants were pulled away by producers.

Though Jackson wishes there had been more of an explanation of the events, he’s said he’s satisfied with the coverage of the encounter aired by the network.

“I feel like they rolled enough of the tape,” Jackson said. (He’d been spotted wearing a ‘show the tape’ t-shirt ahead of the premiere.) “You can’t show too much, because that’s gonna disrespect Corinne and I, and I just feel like it wouldn’t be the best or the classiest thing to do. But, they showed enough.”

“The public, they need to see something. I think they just needed to see [that] she’s lucid. I’m lucid. We’re swimming around. We’re having fun. We’re friends,” he continued. “It wasn’t like I’m some predator who was at the bar waiting for the girl to get extremely drunk, then I’m like, ‘Oops! Let me pounce on her.’ No, it was very mutual and, in fact, she was a little bit of the aggressor in it, and I love how they painted the picture and the story of us actually talking, mingling, getting to know each other.”

Since the Warner Bros. investigation cleared Jackson of any misconduct, the contestant says he’s upset he wasn’t allowed to return to Paradise.

“We’re supposed to be on Paradise to mate, relate, have fun, to look for, you know, your future girlfriend, wife or whatever,” Jackson said. “And for me to get kicked off based off of hooking up, like we’re supposed to do? That’s like me playing for the Lakers and I get suspended for dunking a basketball. Like, that’s my job.”

As for Olympios, the former Bachelor contestant released a statement in June calling herself a “victim,” and hired a private investigative team to look into the situation. A few weeks later, their investigation was completed and the reality cast member clarified her initial statements.

“I felt victimized by the fact that others were judging me through conflicting and unsubstantiated reports, while I myself had no recollection of the events that transpired. My team’s investigation into this matter has now been completed to my satisfaction,” her statement reads. “I am also happy about the changes that have been made to the production of Bachelor In Paradise.”

Like Jackson, she did not return to the show following the incident.

Though Jackson says he hasn’t spoken to Olympios since their encounter, he told Entertainment Tonight he’s “here for her.”

“Corinne’s a lot like me, she’s extremely misunderstood. She has a personality that lights up a room, a smile that lights the room,” Jackson said. “She’s a smart girl, and when I say smart, I mean she knows how to play this reality wheel thing.”

Photo credit: ABC