5 Things We Learned From RAW Last Night

RAW last night epitomized Week 1 of the NFL. As fans, we have things to be hopeful about, as well as things that should concern us. All in all, it was a decent performance by WWE, but when they go back and look at the tapes, there are a few things they’ll want to address.

Last nights episode of RAW hinged on 4 big lessons: Thanks to John Cena and Roman Reigns, we all learned the concept of dillution. Miz and Maryse showed us where babies come from. Roman Reigns and Jason Jordan taught us what professional wrestling looks like. And Braun Strowman and Brock Lesnar graciously showed us sports entertainment feels like.

But in 3 hours of wrestling, WWE taught us so much more. Let’s break down all that was in one of the final RAWs before No Mercy. Here they go, the 5 Things We Learned From RAW Last Night:

Too Much Talkin’

So John Cena and Roman Reigns had their 3rd installment of WWE’s version of ‘Yo Momma,’ last night. While there was some interesting banter, this should be the last time WWE sets these two up for a dueling promo. Here’s a couple reasons:

1. They’re damaging Roman Reigns.

2. They’re out of insults that most fans will understand.

3. A 4th showdown says “we can’t think of anything else.”

While it’s fun to see these guys trade barbs, the best has already passed. Now that WWE is digging up fail drug tests and repackaging them as verbal missiles, we’ve officially reached a state of diminishing returns. If Roman is indeed set to be the face of WWE, then why are they reminding everyone of the negative press?

That’s like OJ Simpon writing a book called “If I Did It.”

Oh, wait.

Moral Victories Work in WWE

I don’t know how great of an entertainer Jason Jordan actually will be, but his physical ability is extraordinary. For now, the Olympic mold that WWE has stuck him in will work just fine for his first act as a solo competitor. 

WWE is into this guy. Name the last Superstar that opened RAW for consecutive weeks with matches against John Cena and Roman Reigns. While no one ever expected Jordan to win these contests, he’s already garnered more capital with the fan base than Finn Balor ever could. 

It’s early but it looks like WWE is cruising at the perfect altitude with Jordan. While his character is slim, WWE has found the proper compensation with the “Kurt Angle is My Dad” stuff. Let’s hope he gets a shot at the Miz and his IC title at No Mercy. 

Bray Plays Heel

Finally!

For the first time in possibly years, Bray Wyatt has done something nasty. Actually, the JoJo stuff was the pure heel, but we’re talking wrestlin’ here.

Bray Wyatt finds himself on the spectrum between Papa Shango and True Detective Season 1. For about 2 years now, Bray has been far more Papa Shango than the “Yellow King.” This is a bad thing.  

However, when Bray chooses to be mean instead of bizarre, we all win. As Bray wiped what’s left of the Attitude Era of off 2017, he looked like a great heel. Thus, Finn Balor looks more like a babyface. And we the fans don’t have to figure out WWE’s moral algorithm, we can simply cheer for Balor. 

Removing the helpless old man’s face paint is so much more effective than dumping paint on Finn Balor. Nice work, WWE.

Enzo the Sports Entertainer

If you use Twitter, then you probably don’t like Enzo. There’s simply too much confirmation bias out there on the Twitter-verse for you to give Enzo a fair shot. But I promise you, in a vacuum, Enzo Amore is working just fine in WWE. 

If you’re 33 and love Enzo, you may have some personal issues to address. However, if you’re 11, then you’re right on track, pal. 

For better or worse you will remember what Enzo Amore does on TV. And that ability to hang around like the evasive booger in the corner of your nose will keep him all too relevant in WWE.

Is Tag Team Wrestling Broken?

This is confusing. 

Somehow, the nuclearly hot act of Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose became a snooze fest. Let’s blame someone:

– Cesaro and Sheamus, while proven WWE veterans, are tremendously boring. Their lack of ability to draw reactions from the fan base has hurt Rollins & Ambrose

– Gallows and Anderson, are less proven WWE veterans and are also boring. Their presence is hurting Rollins & Ambrose

– The Hardys are the most proven of WWE veterans and are the least boring of the Tag Team Division. What is boring, is that they are so friendly with Rollins and Ambrose. Because WWE’s Tag Division is so thin, they should position their best teams against one another. It’s not Rollins and Ambrose and The Hardys, it’s Rollins and Ambrose against the Hardys. 

RAW is in dire need of new tag team blood. Rollins and Ambrose were a great addition, but they’re only going to be as memorable as their opponents.