‘SNL’: ‘Weekend Update’ Anchors Roast President Trump, Michael Cohen

Saturday Night Live personalities Michael Che and Colin Jost took aim at President Donald Trump, per usual, during the latest Weekend Update. However, they also dragged his former attorney Michael Cohen into the mix this time.

Cohen testified before Congress on Wednesday about various financial crimes and unsavory actions he allegedly carried out at Trump’s order. He also branded Trump as a racist during the testimony.

The Weekend Update anchors were thoroughly unimpressed with Cohen’s remarks, even though it did reveal some odd tactics from the POTUS’ past.

“This is weird, but did you guys see this picture online of a chubby sewer rat that got stuck in a manhole? It’s this creature that usually seems gross, but under these circumstances, it’s kind of adorable and you almost feel sorry for it. That’s how I felt about watching Michael Cohen testify in Congress,” Jost said. “Michael Cohen, who looks like he shaves in the car, accused the sitting president of a fraud, tax evasion, racism and Republicans fired back like, ‘Yup, that’s our guy.’”

He added, “The testimony had so many fun weird details that no one even followed up about. Like how Cohen said Trump inflated his net worth by $4 billion in an effort to buy the Buffalo Bills. You lied to buy the Bills? That’s like using a fake ID to get into a Nickelback concert.”

One of the interesting details Cohen revealed was that he sent letters to Trump’s high school and colleges to stop unflattering test scores from his youth to surface.

“Cohen provided Congress with copies of letters threatening high schools and colleges not to reveal his SAT scores. While Cohen did not reveal what those scores were, let’s just say he lives closer to 920 Pennsylvania Avenue than to 1600,” Jost said.

Che then took a swipe at Cohen, saying he refuses to buy into the lawyer’s “damsel in distress routine.”

“Michael Cohen told Congress all the dirty little nasty, freaky things that Donald Trump made him do,” Che said. “I am tired of Michael Cohen’s damsel in distress routine … You stole a United States presidency. Why you acting like a b— now? Your voice wasn’t trembling when you were threatening school teachers and shaking down pornstars. I wanna hear that guy talk to Congress.”

He added, “At least Donald Trump has the decency to fall apart until he’s dragged off in handcuffs like a boss. I mean, that’s how I want to leave SNL.”

The next topic on the duo’s agenda was Trump’s failed summit with Kim Jong-un on Wednesday, which led to both parties in a stalemate over sanctions.

“President Trump met with North Korean dictator and—let’s face it—one of his top five closest friends, Kim Jong-un,” Jost said. “Talks broke down when the two leaders could not agree on sanctions. Another problem was Kim Jong-un used an interpreter while Trump just spoke English, but louder.”

Jost then jabbed at Trump’s speech at CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference), which began with him awkwardly hugging an American flag.

“What the hell was that?” Jost simply said. “Then after that patriotic “Me Too” moment, it somehow got crazier from there.”

A montage of random Trump quotes from a wild range of topics then played, ending with the phrase “I’m gonna regret this speech.”

Jost chimed in “At least he’s self-aware.”

Saturday Night Live airs weekly at 11:30 p.m. ET on NBC.

Photo Credit: NBC