10 Things You Should Never Google

The internet has provided the general populous with access to virtually all information in [...]

By Michael Hein

The internet has provided the general populous with access to virtually all information in recorded history, for better or for worse.

At times, a trip to Google.com can yield horrifying results. Many people go looking for an obscure fact or the answer to a simple question and find themselves staring down the barrel of a truth they weren't prepared to face.

Some commonly used search terms seem innocuous at first, but users quickly learn to avoid them because of unwanted side effects. In many ways, the internet has sped up the adoption of slang and, by extension, the evolution of language. This memetic acceleration means that words which were benign a month ago may not be anymore.

As always, Google is a much friendlier and safer place with the safe search function enabled. Occasionally this will filter out what you're looking for, but it may spare you some brain-scarring revelations in the long run.

Here's a look at some of the things you should never, ever Google.

Nikki Catsouras

Nikki Catsouras was an 18-year-old who died tragically in a car accident in 2006. She was driving her father's Porsche in California when she lost control and crashed. The scene was so grizzly that Catsouras' parents were never asked to identify the body.

Unfortunately, photos were circulated online. Two California Highway Patrol Officers admitted to e-mailing the pictures to friends, putting them out there for all to see. If you're sensitive to graphic images, do not Google those photos.

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Brian Peppers

Italian-Sausage-and-Peppers_RESIZED2

If some kind of auto-correct catastrophe leads you to Google Brian Peppers, you will find yourself learning about an Ohio sex offender. Peppers was photographed in 1998 for Ohio's Electronic Sex Offender Registration and Notification system after he was convicted of gross sexual imposition.

Peppers suffers from a physical deformity, leading some to believe the image of him may have been doctored. An investigation by Snopes shows that it is real. Some speculate that Peppers may be afflicted with Apert Syndrome, Crouzon Syndrome or another genetic disorder.

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Disney Out of Context

via GIPHY

Disney fans will want to steer clear of the subreddit and other online spaces dedicated to Disney out of context memes. They feature gifs and images from the beloved childhood movies and shows overlaid with completely inappropriate captions. The posts range from slightly atonal to completely gruesome, including many that are sexual in nature. Children should be kept away from these sites at all cost.

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4 Girls Finger Paint

A seemingly innocuous search for pictures of people finger painting can lead to an explicit video made entirely for shock purposes. The video was made as an unofficial sequel of the infamous "2 girls 1 cup" video that people tormented each other with in the early 2000s.

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Original Disneyland Costumes

Disneyland and Disney World are places of pure fantasy today. However, the sight of the park's opening day can be jarring for contemporary viewers. It's hard to imagine children being delighted by the frightening costumes and eerie aesthetic on display in the old videos.

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Alice in Wonderland 1976

via GIPHY

Alice in Wonderland is an old story that has been through numerous permutations. If you happen to Googled the 1976 version, however, you'll find a shocking adult film based on the beloved fairy tale. The movie is described by Wikipedia as an "American musical fantasy adult erotic film." For most users searching Alice in Wonderland, it is likely not what they were looking for.

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Donald Duck Nazi

An eight-minute long cartoon is still bouncing around on the internet, showing Donald Duck in a "comedic" portrayal of a Nazi. The satirical short has not held up well to modern ideals of sensitivity, and should generally be avoided for those who have any love for the bratty bird.

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Kids in Sandbox

Once again, these seemingly harmless search terms will lead to a graphic sexual video that almost no one would want to see. It features a woman mutilating a man's body using a vibrator. It is one of the lesser-known videos in the genre of made-to-shock films that are circulated online.

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Mr. Hands

If, for some reason, you search Mr. Hands on Google, you will quickly become acquainted with Kenneth Pinyan. The former Boeing engineer died in 2005 after performing an ill-advised sex act with a horse. The stunt was intentional, and recorded on video as well, but it led to Pinyan's death due to the perforation of his colon.

Pinyan's death led directly to the passage of a law prohibiting sex with animals in his home state of Washington. Unfortunately, his video was circulated online under the name "Mr. Hands," meaning that the seemingly benign search turns up shocking results.

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Mouse Mingle

disney cinderella castle
(Photo: Walt Disney World)

Mouse Mingle is ostensibly a dating website for those in the Disney fandom. Extreme Disney fans are encouraged to gather there and form relationships based on their mutual love for the media giant.

"MouseMingle.com is the place to connect people who love Disney and who want that same magic in their relationship," reads the website's logline. MouseMingle.com is dedicated to Disney fans. Traditional Internet dating sites don't understand the passion people have for all things Disney. But we do."

The seemingly wholesome premise has borne some tragic results. Mouse Mingle is filled with users who have over-sexualized Disney classics in practice or in fantasy.

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