Kendra Wilkinson is doing "a lot better" than she expected on her first Christmas alone following her divorce from Hank Baskett.
"This early morning we woke up opened up presents and rode around on our new bikes for an hour. I never thought I’d ever hear the words 'this is more fun than Fortnite' but I did. LOL," she started off. "I gotta be real though... after this bike ride I had to give my babies up."
She continued, "This is the first year I’m literally alone...til [Jessica Hall] just invited me over. I just want to say how beautiful your pictures are with your families on Christmas. I feel warm and happy for all of you who are lucky to have what you do. My day is going in waves being my first year separated."
The former Playboy model said she has been trying to block off her negative emotions with music and movies, "and then it hits me."
"Doing a lot better than I predicted and friends reaching out makes me smile," she admitted, "but hard adjusting to new after years of what I believed was perfection."
The reality personality added that she is "definitely not looking for sympathy" and "just telling my story."
"Sure divorced peeps can relate," she concluded.
Leading up to the holiday itself, Wilkinson revealed that she was nervous about the upcoming festivities, tweeting Sunday, "Trying to be strong n keep it together these next days. Too much to be thankful for..."
She continued of the parties she had been invited to at that point, "The invites are like this... come to our get together. Will be u and 6 other couples. Or finding myself at the bar alone talking about a hole in the ground w random dude while couples r dancing smiling."
In that time, the Girls Next Door alum has been brutally honest about her processing the loss of what she described as her "perfect" family,
She's also working on her own self esteem, writing on social media in November that she was "falling in love" again—with herself!
"Been dating myself lately. Getting to know myself and even falling in love," she wrote on Instagram. "Love and happiness is real without waiting on someone or something to do it for you."
Photo credit: Michael Tran/FilmMagic