When Kate Gosselin looks back on her relationship with ex-husband Jon Gosselin, she has a lot of regrets.
In Monday's premiere of Kate Plus Date, TLC's new dating show featuring the former Jon & Kate Plus 8 star, the reality personality reflected on her messy divorce, which was splashed across tabloid covers from 2009 to 2010.
"I was the mom of eight kids. That does not come without immense, ridiculous stress," she explained. "Being 29 years old, having been married for a couple of years ... you really have to grow up fast."
Kate knows she has "taken a lot of flak" for the way she treated Jon during their marriage, admitting, "I was very harsh, maybe non-empathetic."
"I had to be the person in charge, and probably most of the time, I didn't want to be that person," she continued. "I had a lot of anger."
While watching her divorce play out in the public eye "kills" her, Kate knows she's in a better place now being divorced than she was with Jon.
"They say the person that you're with should bring out the best in you, and I just don't feel like the best version of myself was brought out," she explained.
It's been nearly 10 years since her divorce was finalized, and Kate admitted she is just now feeling ready to get back into dating.
"The future is coming. My kids are going off to college, and I'm going to be alone," the reality personality said. "I make jokes about it — me and my dogs, it'll be great."
Joking aside, Kate admitted to feeling "kind of like the odd man out" with her kids beginning to leave the nest.
"I think that it would be great to have somebody I genuinely enjoy spending time with to do fun stuff with," she added.
Getting back out there after such a tough split is a little daunting, however.
"I don't know if it was conscious or subconscious. The feeling of going on dates, if you put it in one word, is vulnerable, and I've avoided everything that involves feeling vulnerable. And I now realize that one of those things was dating," Kate added. "Going forward, I've learned a lot about myself. I've changed, I've adapted and I've grown up a lot. I've become much more self-aware. And almost 10 years later, my kids are all but grown up. So, I'm dating again — finally."
Photo credit: D Dipasupil / Contributor, Dave Cotinsky / Contributor, Getty