Actress Mayim Bialik recently started posting vlogs on her YouTube channel where she discusses everything from cats to movies she hasn't seen to how she can be both a neuroscientist and a religious person. She also took to her channel to discuss a very private matter – her divorce.
"I'm divorced, and have been since my kids were 4 and 7," she said, according to Today.
The Big Bang Theory actress has been divorced from her ex-husband Michael Stone for three years but hadn't spoken up about the topic before. In her vlog she says that she avoided the topic to protect the privacy of her ex and of her children. However, now she's decided to break her silence, at least a little, to share her tips on how to make co-parenting work.
"I'd like to talk about [divorce] in a way that might help some of you who are going through something similar," she said. "Or might educate people as to what divorce can look like in some families."
She breaks down her co-parenting into three steps.
Do things together.
This could be very difficult for others going to divorce to manage, but Bialik emphasizes how important it is to keeping a family healthy by staying "together." She explains that she, her children and her ex spend holidays together, go to synagogue together for special occasions and make an effort to do things together as a unit.
"Is it always perfect, and exactly what I want?" she asks. "Of course not. But we all end up being together, and that's literally what's most important."
Continue to be part of each other's families.
"I still talk to my ex-husband's mother, and father, and grandparents, and aunts and uncles," she continues.
This step is both simple and awkward at the same time. Simply put, just because parents are divorced doesn't mean that the children separate from one family or the other. Families consist of both sides, so it only strengthens kids to have experiences with both.
Try to model good behavior.
This means, to Bialik, that "trash talk" is off the table. There is no reason to undercut one parent or the other in front of the children. However, she points out that "things my ex did when we were married that annoyed me then, annoy me still."
Overall, Bialik gives great insight into how her family is working with co-parenting, which is something more and more families are struggling with every day. Her video encourages people to let go of what was and embrace what the new arrangement means for your family.
"The more time you spend being present with what is, the bigger the potential for that happiness to grow," Bialik concluded.