Rose McGowan is detailing her alleged assault by Harvey Weinstein at the 1997 Sundance Film Festival.
According to McGowan, she had a breakfast meeting with the now-disgraced producer, but upon arriving, she was informed that the meeting had been moved to a suite in the Stein Erikson Lodge in Deer Valley. It was in that hotel suite where she claims that Weinstein made her sit on the edge of a Jacuzzi before he began to violently rip off her clothes. She then claims that he proceeded to perform oral sex on her while he masturbated.
"He moans loudly; through my tears I see his semen floating on top of the bubble," McGowan recounts how the incident concluded in her memoir.
Following the incident, the actress says that she found little support, stating that her attorney told her that nobody would believe her and that others "counseled me to see it as something that would help my career in the long run."
McGowan eventually reached a $100,000 settlement with Weinstein in order for her to remain quiet about the incident, which Weinstein has continuously denied.
Despite the settlement, however, she was among the first round of women to come forward to accuse the Hollywood heavyweight of sexual assault and she has become a driving force of the #MeToo movement, though she is still haunted by the event and the decades of silence that followed.
"Part of you has been left behind. You just got killed…You still have the million-yard stare and don't know what the f— just happened to you," she continued. "I've had this giant monster strapped to me for 20 years. He's always been gunning for me. But that's okay — I've been gunning for him, too."
Despite assault claims from McGowan and dozens of other women, Wienstein and his attorneys have continued to deny the accusations.
Mr. Weinstein has never at any time committed an act of sexual assault, and it is wrong and irresponsible to conflate claims of impolitic behavior or consensual sexual contact later regretted, with an untrue claim of criminal conduct," his lawyers told PEOPLE. "There is a wide canyon between mere allegation and truth, and we are confident that any sober calculation of the facts will prove no legal wrongdoing occurred."
McGowan's memoir, Brave, was released Jan. 29.