Jada Pinkett Smith is opening up about trying times during the start of her career in Hollywood.
During her Facebook Watch series, Red Table Talk, the 47-year-old said she had suicidal thoughts shortly after finding success. “I had an emotional breakdown that definitely, I feel like, affected my mental stability. I had gotten to L.A. and gotten a certain amount of success and realized that that wasn’t the answer … that that wasn’t what was going to make everything OK,” she said.
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“Actually, it made things worse. And I became extremely suicidal and I had a complete emotional collapse,” she continued.
Pinkett Smith said she was around 20 years old at the time; she recalled how she called her mother, Adrienne Banfield-Jones “in a panic.”
“It’s like when you just don’t have control over emotions, your thoughts — you feel completely and utterly out of control,” she said.
At that point, Pinkett Smith’s 18-year-old daughter with husband Will Smith, Willow Smith, nodded in understanding of her mom’s trying times. Willow has previously admitted that she struggled with self-harm in her past as well.
“It was after that whole ‘Whip My Hair’ thing and I had just stopped doing singing lessons and I kind was in this gray area of: ‘Who am I? Do I have a purpose? Is there anything I can do besides this?’” Willow told her mom and grandmother on the show in May. “I was cutting myself and doing crazy things.”
In June, Pinkett Smith discussed her battle with depression over the years and revealed that there was a period when she “considered” taking her own life “often.”
“One thing I’ve learned in my life over the years is that mental health is something we should practice daily, not just when issues arise,” she wrote on Instagram at the time.
“We should take care of our mind and spirit in the same way we do our body. With the suicides of Kate [Spade] and Anthony [Bourdain] it brought up feelings of when I was in such despair and had considered the same demise… often,” she continued. “In the years I spent towards my healing, many moons ago, I realized the mind and heart can be extremely delicate without the foundation of a formidable spirit.”
“What I eat, what I watch on TV, what music I listen to, how I care for my body, my spiritual practice, what people I surround myself with, the amount of stress I allow and so on… either contribute to or deteriorate my mental health. Mental health is a daily practice for me. It’s a practice of deep self-love. May Kate and Anthony Rest in Peace. Many may not understand… but I do, and this morning I have the deepest gratitude that I pulled through,” she ended her post.