‘Shahs of Sunset’ Star Mercedes Javid’s ‘Heart Is Fragile’ Upon Learning She Can No Longer Carry a Child

New mom Mercedes “MJ” Javid is opening up about her emotional state after learning that she can “never carry a baby again,” following the complicated birth of her 11-week-old son. The Shahs of Sunset star broke the news with her followers on Instagram Monday, sharing it alongside a nude photo of herself during her pregnancy with son Shams Francis.

“Since I can never carry a baby again, I’m extremely grateful to those who made sure I had this shoot, and keep this memory forever,” she began. “My body is still healing from pregnancy, my heart is fragile and vulnerable.”

“I wish I had the compassion I have now, as a new mom, all of my life,” she admitted. “But now I am learning to have a deeper appreciation about why growth in life is such an important gift.”

And while the Bravo star said the whole experience has made her want to be “better” and “stronger,” she confessed that things aren’t quite that easy right now. “Lately, most days are a challenge,” she told her fans.

Javid has been through so much recently, undergoing grueling in vitro fertilization treatments to conceive her son with husband Tommy Feight. The new mom gave birth via cesarean section in April, which was filled with complications that left her unable to hold her baby for hours after he was born.

“The night my son was born was the worst night of my life,” Feight explained in a video on his Instagram profile at the time. “My wife had a ton of complications. She was in surgery for, like, five hours. [The doctors] didn’t tell me nothing, but they’re amazing … They saved a life. She’s still in ICU. She still hasn’t held her baby yet, [but] that should probably happen later today.”

Despite that, Feight emphasized, “Everything’s great. I’m the happiest guy on Earth,” adding in the caption, “Pinch Me. If you find someone else happier then me they’re lying.”

Photo credit: Michael Bezjian / Contributor, Getty