Carrie Underwood has opened up about the difficult subject of miscarriages, revealing that she has suffered three in the last two years.
Underwood is currently pregnant, having confirmed the news in August. She and her husband, former NHL player Mike Fisher, have a 3-year-old son Isaiah.
However, in a new interview on CBS Sunday Morning, Underwood revealed that she dealt with three miscarriages in the time between her two bundles of joy.
"I'd kind of planned that 2017 was, you know, going to be the year that I work on new music, and I have a baby," Underwood said. "We got pregnant early 2017, and didn't work out."
Underwood spoke spoke candidly about the struggle and how she relied on her faith.
"And that was the thing, in the beginning, it was like, 'OK, God, we know this is, just wasn't Your timing,'" she said. "'And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it.'"
Underwood continued, revealing that there were two more miscarriages — one more in 2017 and another early on in 2018.
"At that point, it was just kind of like, 'Okay, what's the deal? What is all of this?'" she said.
Underwood confessed that her emotions were confused as the losses mounted, as she felt that she already had more than enough to be grateful for.
"I had always been afraid to be angry," she said. "Because we are so blessed. And my son, Isaiah, is the sweetest thing. And he's the best thing in the world. And I'm like, 'If we can never have any other kids, that's okay, because he's amazing.' And I have this amazing life. Like, really, what can I complain about? I can't. I have an incredible husband, incredible friends, an incredible job, an incredible kid. Can I be mad? No."
The drama did not end there, as Underwood said that she believed for a while that her current pregnancy also would end in a miscarriage.
"Why on Earth do I keep getting pregnant if I can't have a kid?" she remembered thinking. "What is this? Shut the door. Do something. Either shut the door or let me have a kid."
Underwood said that she believed that was the first time she was honest with herself about how she felt: angry.
"And for the first time, I feel like I actually I told God how I felt," she said. "That was a Saturday — and the Monday I went to the doctor to confirm, another miscarriage. And they told me everything was great! He heard me."
Underwood's Cry Pretty album was released on Sept. 14.